Divorce

Soon-to-be divorced, divorcing or recently divorced? Beware the tax man!

Published on: February 10, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How long does getting a divorce take?”

That special time of year is looming—April 15. That is not the date on which Santa Claus comes tumbling down the chimney with a slew of nice gifts to leave under the tree. Quite the opposite: April 15 is the date every year on which Americans pay their dues to Uncle Sam and to their respective state governments.

Not all state governments impose an income tax, but this state (North Carolina) does, and the federal government expects its dues. Aside from whatever complications one has experienced in the past with figuring and paying taxes, if one has recently divorced, one should beware, because new complications may be aplenty.

Even if one has not yet divorced but is engaged in the divorce process, tax time could prove especially troublesome. What, for instance, is one’s filing status? Is one married and filing jointly or married and filing separately? And, importantly, who is the Head of Household for tax purposes?

Unfortunately, answering these queries may require not only conversation with—but also the cooperation of—one’s ex or soon-to-be ex. This could prove vexing, and especially so if the ugliness if a divorce proceeding is looming over the erstwhile tedious task of preparing taxes.

Parties in custody battles should think hard before seeking to offer child testimony

Published on: February 3, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What can I do to gain custody of my child in North Carolina?”

In North Carolina, the ultimate arbiter of custody is the District Court judge. The District Court judge is vested, by statute, with the authority to determine who should have custody of a child and the terms under which custody shall be exercised.

Of course, the decisions of a District Court judge are subject to appeal, but when parties do appeal a District Court decision and one of the state courts of appeal decides to entertain the appeal, those courts frequently uphold the decisions of District Courts, and if they do not, many times they simply clarify the manner in which a judge should have considered the case and send it right back to the District Court to consider the case anew.

A party’s presentation regarding custody is made in District Court, and the person a party needs to convince is the District Court judge. Many parties believe a good way of convincing a District Court judge that they should have custody of a child is to have the child testify before the court. After all, who better knows what is in one’s best interest than oneself?

The problem with that ideas is that minor children are considered “infants” or “incompetents” under North Carolina law. Minor children do not have the capacity, for instance, to enter into contracts. A court will not take a proposal to allow a minor child to testify lightly. A judge will likely conduct a hearing to consider whether testimony would be appropriate in a particular case, and if so, what measures or protections may be afforded to the child while testifying.

Cutting divorce expenses means compromising and choosing the right advocate

Published on: January 27, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” Is there some property that the judge cannot divide?

Any litigant looking for something less than the proverbial blood wants to spend as little as possible getting from here to there. Some litigants are out for the proverbial blood, however, and seem willing to spend as much as it takes to draw it.

Thankfully, our system of legal justice limits litigants to well-known causes of action and certain limited remedies. In the family-law context, these remedies include a decree of divorce, an award of money or property under various legal theories, an award of custody of a child or children and, in some cases, the imposition of one or more injunctions prescribing or prohibiting certain actions or omissions.

Parties to a divorce action can take some simple steps to spend as little as possible getting to the finish line. The first step, writes Geoff Williams in US News and World Report, is learning to compromise. This can be difficult, because even spouses who do compromise may feel regretful about their decisions.

Judy Crockett of Manistee, Michigan, for instance, regretted her decision to accept her husband’s offer of forty percent of retirement assets. She said she decided not to fight for a full half of the retirement assets because her husband was older and in ill health at the time of their divorce.

Divorce party lets exes blow their marriage mementos to smithereens

Published on: January 22, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board certified family law specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How long does getting a divorce take?”

Getting to the point of wanting a divorce may have taken years. Getting the divorce may have taken years. Now the divorce is over. What to do?

Much is to be gained by taking stock and learning to live in one’s new life. Over time, divorcees may learn to get over their anger and even to get along, to some degree or another, with an ex-spouse.

Amy Koko, who writes on her blog ExWifeNewLife, said it is important for people who have gone through a divorce to learn to live alone, to learn that they are strong and independent enough to fend for themselves.

Her advice dovetails with a new offer from a Las Vegas, Nevada business that specializes in helping people fend for themselves—with guns!

Machine Guns Vegas is promising an unforgettable post-divorce party package just in time for Valentine’s Day. The “Just Divorced” experience is designed, the company says, to encourage the recently divorced “to commemorate new beginnings—by shooting down any items that painfully remind them of their wedding day.”

Litigant’s cancer diagnosis wins her second shot at divorce settlement, maintenance

Published on: January 8, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How will the judge divide our property?”

The Montana Supreme Court has sent a divorce case back to a trial court in Great Falls, Montana, to consider two post-trial motions brought by an ex-wife sick with breast cancer.

The ex-wife—Gail Patton—filed for divorce in March 2011. In September 2013, the District Court in Great Falls determined that the entire martial estate of Gail and her ex-husband Bill was just over one-million dollars.

Gail was awarded $99,296, but the net amount she received from Bill—after attorney’s fees—was $27,000.

The Pattons married in 1998. After their marriage, Gail’s health declined, and her left shoulder atrophied, leaving her with limited mobility. In addition, she suffered from debilitating knee and back pain and was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. To make matters worse, in May 2013 Gail was diagnosed with breast cancer.

After her diagnosis, Gail filed two motions, arguing that the less-than-ten-percent share she received of the marital estate should be increased to account for her medical bills. The District Court refused to rule on Gail’s motions, and in October 2013, the court adopted the recommendations of a standing master—a judicial official tasked with finding facts in cases and making recommendations to the court—awarding Gail a net total of $27,000.

Psychotherapist offers words of encouragement for those contemplating divorce

Published on: January 6, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m considering separating from my spouse; what actions should I refrain from doing?”

Author and psychotherapist Abby Rodman says that couples contemplating, embroiled in, or nearing the finish line of a divorce need to embrace the wisdom of the ancient Greek philosopher Heraclitus: “Change is constant.” Change is constant, and if you are going through a divorce, you should embrace change, because change is certain, says Rodman.

Rodman encourages couples to prepare for the worst. Preparing for the worst does not mean couples have to expect the worst, and in the long run the changes spawned by a divorce may lead to a better life than parties to a marriage are leading now. Painting too rosy a picture of post-divorce life, in one’s mind, however, may lead to unfulfilled expectations.

If divorce is a part of one’s life, Rodman says, it does not have to define one’s life. In reality, Rodman says, the rest of a person’s life goes on while a divorce is proceeding. If a person brings the rest of one’s life to a halt while a divorce is pending, Rodman says, one may miss out on new and important opportunities—doors that open into one’s new, post-marriage life.

The end of a marriage means the end of matrimonial bonds, and it also may bring to an end many other past times or traditions shared with a spouse. One may feel inclined to cast off and cast away the implements of one’s former life, tangible and intangible, but Rodman encourages those going through the divorce process not to “throw the baby out with the bathwater.”

Adult child sees the silver lining in her parents’ divorce—eight years later

Published on: December 30, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

Remorse is, perhaps, the most difficult of human emotions. Anyone who has passed through the crucible of divorce may know what it means to contend with remorse, or to contend with “what could have been.”

Sadly, many divorces leave a trail of broken hearts. These include the hearts of children, who are often unwitting, innocent victims of a broken marriage.

Adult children of divorced or divorcing parents are not immune to these feelings. To an adult child whose parents have been married for decades, the concept of divorce—at least applied to one’s own parents—may seem foreign. What’s more, because adult children tend to move away from their parents’ home, they may miss signs of marital trouble displayed behind closed doors.

Ellen Huerta, who writes about romantic breakups on her website Mend, recalls that since her parents’ marriage had survived her own childhood and young adulthood, she just assumed it would last forever—or until death did them part.

Census plan to eliminate survey questions may leave marriage, divorce in statistical void

Published on: December 25, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

About one-half of American marriages end in divorce.

Marriage counselors have been preaching that prevailing wisdom to couples for decades. People who have been through a messy divorce may point to the statistic with a disillusioned “I told you so” attitude. Divorce attorneys and other professionals who often deal with the most contentious divorces may feel even more disillusionment.

Researchers, however, can put their feelings aside and study the raw data. As consumers, as human beings and as professionals working in family law matters, we rely on the data and upon the work of researchers studying the data for a portrait of what marriage and divorce look like in the United States.

For a variety of reasons, our ability to rely on accurate data may be disappearing.

For years, researchers in the family-law field have relied on statistics compiled by the United States Government in its American Community Survey. It is the ground zero, so to speak, for researchers interested in marriage and divorce trends across different age groups, ethnicities and cultures within the United States.

“Smart” people capable of DIY divorce, writer says

Published on: December 23, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Can I get the judge to order my spouse to pay my attorney’s fees in a property division case?”

The Huffington Post has identified what it describes as “a narrow group of smart, rational and reasonable individuals” who will join the flood of people all over the country starting the New Year by ending their marital relationships. It is, after all, the busiest time of year for divorce lawyers; however, these “smart, rational and reasonable” individuals will not be joining the flood of phone calls to divorce lawyers’ offices.

Diane L. Danois, J.D., says smart people don’t need divorce lawyers. First, she argues, much of family law is form-based, and most of the forms are available online at no cost. Even samples of Separation Agreements, Property Agreements and Custody Agreements can be found online and tailored—by “smart, rational and reasonable” individuals—to fit an individual couple’s needs.

As for property division, Danois says, financial affidavits guide couples through the steps of disclosing and labeling assets and liabilities. Smart people can figure out what martial property is, presumably. The assumption Ms. Danois appears to make, however, is that parties to marital relationships all have sharing, cooperative attitudes. Many people end up in my office, however, because of their spouses’ uncooperative and—at times—abusive and controlling attitudes. They need advocates to stand up for them because they feel intimidated by a spouse and by the legal system.

Of course, uncooperative, controlling, manipulative spouses would likely not fit under Ms. Danois’ definition of “smart, rational and reasonable” individuals, so perhaps the couples in need of divorce lawyers—by asserting the opposite of the premise—are those which feature at least one spouse who is uncooperative, or not “smart.”

Florida’s first same-sex Divorce best holiday gift ever, ex-spouse says

Published on: December 16, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How can an attorney help me with my Divorce or Separation in North Carolina?”

Heather Brassner’s marriage ended five years ago, but she was only able to get a Florida judge to sign off on her divorce this past Wednesday.

In so doing, Brassner, her now ex-wife Megan Lade and Broward County Circuit Judge Dale Cohen made history. The Brassner-Lade divorce marks the Sunshine State’s first same-sex divorce.

Brassner’s attorney, Nancy Brodzki, called Judge Cohen’s ruling historic, telling the Associated Press that while this is Florida’s first same-sex divorce, it will not be the last. As the Washington Post reported Monday, Columbia University statistics professor Andrew Gelman analyzed statistics comparing same-sex and traditional marriages and concluded that “the dissolution rate of same-sex marriages seems comparable to, not lower than, the divorce rate of traditional marriages.” Previous analyses had provided that the same-sex divorce rate was lower than the traditional marriage divorce rate.

Any way you slice the numbers, according to Gelman, results in lots of divorces—same-sex and traditional.

Brodzki may expecting more same-sex divorce business in Florida, but before she takes any more clients over the divorce finish line, she may have to fight Florida’s Attorney General Pam Bondi in court.