Attorney

Not all divorces are forever—Lebron remarries his hometown team

Published on: July 15, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How can an attorney help me with my Divorce or Separation in North Carolina?”

When Lebron James announced on live television that he was taking his talents to South Beach, he set off a very public and very intense public firestorm. Cleveland Cavaliers fans burned James’ Cavaliers jersey in the street. Some said if he ever wanted to come back, they wouldn’t take him. It looked to be a very messy and very public divorce.

Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert addressed a letter after James’ announcement to “All of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters” saying Lebron “deserted” Cleveland. He wrote that Lebron’s announcement came after a “several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up.” Cavalier fans did not deserve that “kind of cowardly betrayal,” Gilbert said.

Ouch!

LeBron kicked off his Miami campaign during the “Recovery Summer” with an announcement that he planned to bring as many as eight NBA titles back to South Beach. That was oh-so 2010.

The Heat teams led by LeBron were upset by the Dallas Mavericks in the 2011 finals, then won back-to-back titles in 2012 and 2013—true to the form—before being trounced by the San Antonio Spurs in 2014.

New reality show contestants flip the script, skip dating

Published on: July 10, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m not getting along with my husband. We’ve been married two weeks and it was a mistake. Can’t I just get an annulment?”

Dating, courtship, friendship, getting to know someone—whatever you call it—it’s nothing new. Also not new is the idea that knowing someone comes first, marriage second. Or third, or long after you’ve gotten to know someone and, perhaps, learned to love a person.

Many couples—famously Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, formerly Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, and don’t forget Branjelina—have carried on years-long love affairs without going through the business of tying the knot. A recent study may show our movie stars reflect our reality: so-called Millennials are marrying later—and less of them are marrying—than each of the previous three generations (described by the Pew Research Center as “Gen X,” “Boomer” and “Silent.” On average, an American woman in the 1950s married at age 20; the average man at age 23. Today the average American woman marries at age 27, the average man at 29.

Some families like the Duggars—stars of TLC’s hit show “19 Kids and Counting”—have adopted and implemented dating rules consistent with their religious faith, by which children of dating age “date with a purpose,” always in the presence of a chaperone, and save kissing, hand-holding, body-on-body hugging and virtually every other form of physical contact for marriage. So far, the Duggar “courtships” have been short, lasting a few months and ending in a proposal to marry, and so far the kids are marrying young.

The Duggars may seem like a throwback to a bygone era, but many observers bemoan the weakening of the institution of marriage, caused perhaps by intergenerational prosperity which has caused both men and women to lose the motivation to marry and have children. Perhaps that is why Jamie Otis had such a hard time finding a man who was ready to commit. She said guys in New York City—where she lives—were just players until they hit their late thirties.

Avoid Divorce’s Impact On Your Career

Published on: June 12, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What children’s expenses are covered by child support?”

Though divorce may not appear to have anything to do with a person’s career, experts say that marriage problems can often bleed over into the workplace, making it hard to separate your personal life from your professional one.

Given the emotion surrounding divorce and the financial and family upheaval it can cause, it isn’t surprising that this can lead to trouble in the office. Coming in late, a lack of energy, loss of focus and outside distractions can all cause temporary setbacks. In some cases, however, these temporary setbacks can turn into long-term trouble and even derail otherwise stable careers.

The problem is that many who are in the midst of marital trouble do not pay sufficient attention to their jobs. Though distraction is understandable given what’s going on, experts say you are far better off to focus your attention on work. Doing so gives you something to occupy your time rather than sad thoughts and gives a purpose to your day. It also can help guarantee financial security, something that many going through a divorce worry about.

The following are some tips laid out by experts to ensure your divorce does not eventually cause harm to your career:

Obesity In Children Linked To Parental Divorce

Published on: June 5, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Do I need an attorney to get a Divorce in North Carolina?”

In a surprising study out of Norway, researchers say they have found a possible link between divorce and childhood obesity. Interestingly, researchers say that the link appears mainly to impact boys, rather than affecting children across the board.

The research began by examining health data from school nurses of more than 1,000 children in third grade. More than 20 percent of those children qualified as either overweight or obese. Though weight problems impacted children of all walks of life, scientists were surprised to see how much divorce correlated with increased weight gain.

Specifically, the study found that children whose parents were divorced were 50 percent more likely to be obese than other kids. Among this group, the kids were 90 percent more likely to be abdominally obese, meaning that the majority of their weight was stored in their midsection, a type of obesity that has been linked to numerous health problems.

The children of divorce were not only more likely to be obese than kids whose parents remained married, but also kids whose parents were never married. Researchers say that even when considering other factors, such as wealth and parental education, the divorce-obesity link held true.

North Carolina NFL Player Jailed After Domestic Dispute

Published on: June 3, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

Carolina Panthers player Greg Hardy has been jailed after police say that he and his girlfriend were involved in a domestic dispute. In this case, both Hardy and his girlfriend claim that the other was the aggressor.

Despite, the he-said, she-said claims, a judge in Mecklenburg County ordered a $15,000 bond for Hardy. The judge similarly issued a protective order requiring Hardy to end all contact with 24-year-old Nicole Holder. Yet another requirement of Hardy’s release from jail was that he agree to attend three AA classes each week.

The last stipulation arose because both Hardy and Holder were intoxicated at the time of the fight. The argument began early in the morning and culminated when police were called around 4 a.m. Holder says that Hardy threw her into a couch that was covered with assault rifles and other weapons. Later, she says Hardy threw her into the tiled area of his tub, resulting in terrible bruises around her head, neck and shoulders. Holder says she was then drug from the tub by her hair while Hardy yelled that he was going to kill her.

Holder then says Hardy left her in the bedroom and began choking her with both hands around her throat. Hardy is then alleged to have told the woman that if she went to the cops or the media and reported what had happened he would kill her.

Which Areas Of Charlotte Rank Highest In Terms Of Infidelity?

Published on: May 29, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Does adultery affect who gets custody?”

An internet dating company that exists to facilitate affairs claims that Huntersville, North Carolina is among the most unfaithful neighborhoods in the country. The news release came from AshelyMadison.com, which compared data from its nearly 21 million members.

According to AshleyMadison, more than 65,000 of its millions of members come from the Charlotte metropolitan area. Out of this group, more than 9.1 percent are from Huntersville, representing a sizable share of the overall members relative to its share of the metro area’s population. Ballantyne makes up 8.9 percent of local members while uptown is home to 8.8 percent. These three areas are followed by Myers Park, Indian Trail, Dilworth and SouthPark.

According to the founder and CEO of AshleyMadison, income and education are among the most common attributes of areas that are big users of the service. The CEO says that cheating is typically easier for those with more discretionary income, which is why the majority of those cities at the top of his lists are affluent areas.

N.C. Judge tosses heart-balm lawsuits their latest challenge

Published on: May 27, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Does adultery affect my divorce case?”

At least one North Carolina judge has had enough of so-called “heart balm” lawsuits. In a case from Forsyth County, Superior Court Judge John O. Craig wrote that North Carolina’s alienation-of-affections cause of action is unconstitutional because it infringes on people’s rights under the First and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitutions.

Alienation-of-affections actions are brought by one spouse against the lover of another spouse. Because of the affair, the theory goes, the aggrieved spouse has been deprived of the affections associated with one’s marriage and can recover damages from the third-party paramour for that loss.

Recoveries in heart-balm cases can be significant. In 2011, a Wake County judge awarded a jilted spouse over $30 million in a heart-balm case. That followed a pair of multi-million-dollar awards in 2010 in cases in Pitt and Guilford Counties.

The alienation-of-affections ruling by Judge Craig is only the latest in a decades-long struggle by lawyers, legislators and judges in North Carolina to overturn what critics describe as an archaic cause of action.

The state Court of Appeals abolished the alienation-of-affections action and its lesser-known counterpart – criminal conversation – in 1984 in Cannon v. Miller. The ruling was overturned by the state Supreme Court in 1985. Since then, state legislators have offered a multitude of bills that would outlaw the actions, without success.

Gender Becoming Less Important Factor In Custody Decisions

Published on: May 22, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Does adultery affect who gets custody?”

For a long time now people have assumed that courts are generally unfair to fathers during custody fights. This belief has held not only among men, but women too accept to a certain degree that family law courts prefer giving custody to mothers over fathers. Though there has been plenty of justification for this belief, new numbers reveal that over the past several decades this trend has changed, rather abruptly, and men are far more likely to get a fair shake today then they were several years back.

Experts say that the family law world has undergone a somewhat quiet revolution with regard to men and their custody rights. Slowly, the percentage of men being awarded shared custody has increased from a scant number to a much more substantial share. This shift has as much to do with an increased desire among fathers to play a role in the lives of their children as it does a shift in the way that judges perceive men and women’s roles in raising kids and the importance of having both parties actively involved in parenting.

The trend towards more equitable custody decisions began in the 1970s when family law courts consciously decided to break away from the notion of the male as the financial breadwinner and the woman as a dependent caretaker. Instead, the courts adopted the radical notion that husbands and wives were interdependent, meaning they shared both financial and parenting responsibilities.

Flirty Texting Might Lead To Trouble During Divorce

Published on: May 20, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

In a bizarre case out of Maryland, a family court judge was forced to tackle the somewhat embarrassing question of what to do when two parties engaged in some rather adult conversations by text. The issue was that the two adults in question were in the process of divorcing one another, and the court had to decide whether their “sexting” was a problem that could derail the divorce.

The issue arose because under Maryland law to secure a no fault divorce a couple must have voluntarily separated from one another for 12 months prior to the filing of the application for divorce. This separation must include the parties living separate and apart without “cohabitating,” a phrase that has been interpreted to prohibit sexual relations between the parties.

The trouble began when Mr. Bergaris filed for divorce from his wife, claiming no fault. Mrs. Bergaris was evidently not interested in divorce and opposed the motion by arguing that during the previous 12 months she and her husband had exchanged numerous sexually explicit telephone communications and text messages. Mrs. Bergaris claimed that these messages meant that the grounds for divorce were invalid and that the request for a divorce should be denied.

Suicide Interferes With Man’s Divorce

Published on: May 15, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Do I need an attorney to get a Divorce in North Carolina?”

In a tragic case out of New York, one man recently lost a case where he tried to continue a divorce against his former wife who had recently taken her own life. The judge dismissed the matter, saying that prior case law has made clear that once a person dies the divorce case must also come to an end.

The case began back in 2012 when naval reservist Aleida Bordas filed for divorce from her husband of 13 years, David Bordas. Aleida claimed that the marriage was irretrievably broken and that she wanted out of the relationship as a result. The case slowly made its way through the court system until April of last year, when Aleida took her own life.

The suicide took many by surprise and resulted in the winding down of her divorce case, that is, until David realized that Aleida had made some important financial changes just before her death. David argued that these changes were made contrary to the standing order in place in the case that prevented either party from altering the financial status quo. As a result, David asked a judge to keep the divorce case open and undo the changes his former wife had made.