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Special considerations for couples older than 50 divorcing

Published on: August 21, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” Is there some property that the judge cannot divide?”

It used to be that if a couple made it far enough down the road of marriage, they’d be especially likely to stick it out, literally, until death forced their parting. A quarter century ago, just ten-percent of divorces in the United States involved divorcees who were over the age of 50. Now that figure is 40 percent, according to researchers at Bowling Green State University. That amounts to more than 600,000 divorces involving over-50 divorcees in 2010 alone.

Many couples—or perhaps one-half of couples—know they want a divorce long before taking the proverbial plunge. One 53-year-old divorcee, interviewed by Yahoo Finance, said she knew she wanted to get divorced years ago, when her 19-year-old daughter was still a toddler. Her daughter required day-to-day medical care, and the woman did not believe she could care for her on her own. She waited until her husband retired so that she could collect some of his pension.

Divorcing late—or later—in life raises some unique issues for potential divorcees. Certified planner Jean Ann Dorrell cautions those nearing or passing the half-century age to consider the challenging financial and other issues such divorcees may face.

One common issue is who gets the house? Many young couples may not own real estate; many older couples do. An investment in real estate is usually a couple’s largest, and the investment involves more than numbers. It is a home where children may have been raised, where the best (and worst) of times may have occurred, where someone has fled for years for comfort from the so-called slings and arrows of life. Can a couple facing divorce work together to sell the house and divide the proceeds? If one spouse decides to let the other spouse keep the house, who pays the mortgage? These are issues that need to be addressed.

Most marriages are happy and divorce rate is closer to 20 percent, says author

Published on: August 19, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m not getting along with my husband. We’ve been married two weeks and it was a mistake. Can’t I just get an annulment?”

Sometimes what “they” say is not good enough because “they”—whoever “they” are–don’t have the facts. One thing “they” have always said about divorce in the United States is that Christians are just as likely to divorce as unbelievers.

“They” were wrong.

Harvard-trained researcher and author Shaunti Feldhahn has released a book in which she debunks some commonly held myths about divorce and divorce rates in the United States. The book is titled The Good News About Marriage: Debunking Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce.

Feldhahn got the idea to write the book eight years ago when she asked her assistant to locate some reliable divorce statistics for an article she was writing. After searching, both Feldhahn and her assistant concluded that there weren’t “any real numbers.” They spent the next several years digging through “[t]remendously complicated, sometimes contradictory research to find the truth.”

Reporter, advocates say allowing same-sex marriage would cause wedding-business boom

Published on: August 14, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

A 40-year veteran of the Asheville Citizen-Times says gay weddings would mean big business to Asheville. The only thing standing in the way is North Carolina law.

Dozens of scenarios could play out, “depending on decisions made at almost every legal level, from the state attorney general to the General Assembly to the Supreme Court,” wrote reporter Barbara Blake in an Aug. 3 article. She cited a July 28 ruling by the 4^th Circuit Court of Appeals striking down Virginia’s same-sex marriage ban and wrote that the way was paved for North Carolina courts to do the same.

That may be wishful thinking on the part of Blake and advocates of same-sex marriage. But as Blake points out, more than a few businesses may stand to benefit from a change in the law.

Asheville is already a destination for marriages and marriage celebrations and is considered a “gay-friendly city,” Blake wrote. Most business owners quoted in Blake’s story said they were open to all couples, and did not market themselves specifically to gay couples. The owners of one event-planning and floral design company—life partners Bobby Hill and Mark Arrington—said “the prospect of a new population of brides and grooms is exciting.” They conceded, however, that they had no plans to advertise specifically to the “gay market.”

19-year-old says she is remarrying her 54-year-old ex-husband

Published on: August 12, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What does uncontested divorce mean?”

Consenting to your wife’s divorce so that she can go “experience other men” may not seem like a normal thing to do, but little in the now-rekindled romance between 19-year-old Courtney Stodden and 54-year-old Doug Hutchison has been “normal.”

Hutchison is billed in media reports as a “star” of the 1999 film The Green Mile, a film that also featured Oscar winners and nominees Tom Hanks, James Cromwell and the late Michael Clarke Duncan. He met the “fame-hungry” Stodden when the then-16-year-old signed up for Hutchison’s online acting workshop. After courting online for several months, the pair met in person and, soon after, married. At the time of their Las Vegas marriage, Hutchison was 51 and Stodden just 16.

The marriage brought the pair more publicity than any acting gig for either party before or since. They parlayed the publicity into a reality television show about their romance. Stodden’s stint on Celebrity Big Brother U.K. left her feeling “strong and independent” and, according to reports, interested in other men. Hutchison appeared to observe that sage quote, from writer Richard Bach: “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.” He let Stodden go, sort of.

Stodden said she was aiming for younger men in her “sow the wild oats” stage, telling TooFab last year that “people say age is just a number and I said that also and obviously age isn’t just a number. I’m excited to taste new things.” Stodden and Hutchison announced their split in a joint statement, saying they would share custody of their dog, Dourtney.

In Hollywood and elsewhere, adultery is rarely an easy obstacle for couples to overcome

Published on: August 7, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Does adultery affect my divorce case?”

Reality television star Kendra Wilkinson has met several times with Hollywood divorce lawyers, People Magazine reports. Wilkinson has said there is no chance she will reconcile with husband and former National Football League player Hank Baskett. Wilkinson and Baskett have two children—a four-year-old son and a daughter born in June.

Wilkinson is a former Playboy model who first garnered notoriety when she was featured as one of several girlfriends of Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner in the reality television show “The Girls Next Door.” The show aired from 2005 to 2009. Wilkinson ended her relationship with Hefner in 2008 and married Baskett the following year. Their relationship has been chronicled in another reality show, “Kendra on Top.” The couple is still living under the same roof, so that WE network cameras can keep rolling as their relationship unravels.

The unraveling began in June when a transsexual model named Ava Sabrina London told the National Enquirer that she engaged in two sexual encounters with Baskett. London alleged that she and Baskett exchanged information on YouTube and eventually met for sexual encounters “that never culminated in actual sex” but which she said left Baskett “very satisfied.” London passed a polygraph test administered by the National Enquirer, and RadarOnline has alleged that it obtained video surveillance that shows a truck matching Baskett’s arriving at London’s Los Angeles condo.

London said Baskett paid her to keep quiet about the encounters. Baskett has denied being involved with London.

Judge accused of beating his wife finds himself on the other side of the bench

Published on: August 5, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Do I need an attorney to get a Divorce in North Carolina?”

A Cleveland, Ohio judge found himself on the other side of the bench after being arrested Saturday for beating his wife.

Cuyahoga County Common Pleas Judge Lance Mason was accused of punching, biting and choking his wife inside a vehicle in Shaker Heights, where Mason is from, according to witnesses. Aisha Mason—Judge Mason’s wife—sustained “serious facial injuries,” including broken facial bones, according to reports. The couple’s children, aged four and six, respectively, were in the vehicle during the beating.

Judge Mason allegedly threw his wife out of their vehicle at the corner of Van Aken Boulevard and Avalon Road. Aisha Mason told emergency dispatchers she feared for the safety of the couples’ children and pleaded with responders to find the children and get them out of harm’s way.

Judge Mason was arrested at his home in Cleveland about twenty minutes after the alleged beating, after his sister called police to report that he was threatening to kill himself with a gun. Judge Mason was charged with felonious assault.

While in custody, Judge Mason admitted to having weapons in his bedroom and attic. Officers searched his home and found some 2,500 rounds of ammunition, a 12-gauge shotgun, a Winchester shotgun, a 50-shell shotgun belt, two semi-automatic rifles, two handguns, a sword, four canisters of smoke grenades and a bulletproof vest.

Domestic Violence in the NFL

Published on: July 29, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m not getting along with my husband. We’ve been married two weeks and it was a mistake. Can’t I just get an annulment?”

Last week, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell handed down a controversial punishment to Baltimore Ravens running back, Ray Rice. Rice was suspended for two games for his involvement in an altercation with his fiancé (now wife), Janay Palmer. Following this incident, Rice was observed via security camera pulling an unconscious Palmer out of a New Jersey casino elevator. Rice pleaded not guilty to third degree aggravated assault and avoided trial by being accepted into a pretrial intervention program.

There is a growing concern from the public that the NFL is not taking a hard enough line on domestic violence. Roger Goodell’s two game suspension for Rice has been subject to scrutiny around the country from multiple media outlets that have compared this suspension to drug related suspensions that are four games. This scrutiny has gone as far as United States senators Chris Murphy, Tammy Baldwin, and Richard Blumenthal, writing a letter to NFL requesting reconsideration and revision of Rice’s punishment to “more adequately reflect the seriousness of his offense.” The senator’s letter says the NFL’s punishment “reflects a disturbingly lenient, even cavalier attitude towards violence against women.” Goodell has responded to this scrutiny that Rice’s punishment is in line with the NFL’s decisions when previously dealing with similar situations.

Locally, Charlotte has had recent headlines for NFL players and domestic violence. Carolina Panther’s Pro Bowl defensive end, Greg Hardy, was charged last May with communicating threats and assaulting a female after an altercation with his ex-girlfriend. After being convicted on both charges by Mecklenburg County District Court judge Rebecca Thorne Tin, Hardy’s attorney confirmed that his client will be appealing to a jury trial in Superior Court. The Panthers general manager, David Gettleman, has announced that the team will not discipline Hardy until the NFL takes action under the leagues code of conduct policy. Gettleman also said that the league will not do anything until the legal process has played out.

Study tries to explain why marriages with first-born daughters more often end in divorce

Published on: July 24, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “My wife and I are not getting along If I leave the house, can she get me for abandonment?”

The least complicated—and least controversial—aspect of a new study of possible causes of divorce is the recitation of a long-recognized statistical truth that marriages featuring first-born daughters are more likely to end in divorce than those featuring first-born sons. The recent study—by Duke University researchers Amar Hamoudi and Jenna Nobles—pushed back the clock, so to speak, to try to explain the disparity.

The study by Hamoudi and Nobles expands on the widely-accepted concept that girls and women of all ages are more likely than boys or men to make it to their next birthday. This concept is known as the “characteristic female survival advantage.” While this survival advantage has been well documented outside of the womb, Hamoudi and Nobles studied what happens inside the womb—all the way back to the moment of fertilization.

The researchers found evidence suggesting that female embryos are better able to withstand maternal stress in utero than male embryos. A female fetus, therefore, is more likely to make it to birth than a male counterpart whose mother is experiencing relationship stress. The researchers studied data from the 1979-2010 National Longitudinal Study of Youth. From the study, they deduced that couples who argued frequently during a pregnancy were more likely to have a firstborn daughter than a son. Males are less likely to survive the stressful atmosphere in utero.

Hamoudi said the research neither proves that daughters cause divorce nor that they do not cause it. Instead, he cautioned those who would draw hasty conclusions from the statistical correlation between firstborn daughters and divorce. Many people have suggested that girls, by their nature, have a negative impact on the stability of their parents’ unions. Hamoudi said his study should put an end to that assumption.

Correlation found between social media usage and divorce; causation not established

Published on: July 22, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m not getting along with my husband. We’ve been married two weeks and it was a mistake. Can’t I just get an annulment?”

Users have known for months—maybe longer—that Facebook lets you see if any of your friends are registered sex offenders. The Friend Verifier application—used over 8-millions times to date—lets users scroll over their friend lists to find matches with sex offender registries.

Friends like these, right Facebook? What does the social networking site say about people closer than friends, namely spouses? A lot.

Facebook doesn’t yet have an application that can predict whether users’ marriages will end in divorce, but researchers from Boston University’s College of Communication and the Pontifical Catholic University say using Facebook may put users at a greater risk of divorce.

The researchers studied relationships between use of social media sites like Facebook and marital satisfaction by comparing survey data from spouses with divorce statistics from individual states in the United States. The study, they said, could raise profound questions about the impact of social media on day-to-day human behavior.

While researchers stressed that many other factors contribute to individual divorces, they did observe a correlation between spikes in Facebook usage and spikes in divorce rates in state populations. The correlating spikes did not indicate that Facebook caused divorces, but researchers said that seeking to understand the role of Facebook in divorce and martial satisfaction was worthy of further policy-oriented research endeavors by social scientists.

Sherri Shepherd divorce lays bare issue of “unwanted” surrogate

Published on: July 17, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What rules are there for Father’s Right in NC?”

The marriage of television writer Lamar Sally and wife, Sherri Shepherd—late of talk show “The View”—is headed the way of more than half of American matrimonial unions: to divorce. The acrimonious split is heating up, with Sally asking a judge to invalidate a prenuptial agreement and award him spousal support from Shepherd.

The prenuptial agreement provides for Sally to receive a lump-sum payment of $60,000. Sally called the agreement fraudulent.

It is not the fight over money, however, that makes the Sally-Shepherd split unique.

Shepherd, who is 47, and Sally asked a surrogate to become impregnated using Sally’s sperm through the process of in-vitro fertilization. The surrogate’s own egg was used, and after fertilization, she agreed to carry the unborn child in her womb.

Sally lists the unborn child’s name as Lamar Sally Jr. and says the surrogate’s due date is July 28. He has requested full custody, offering reasonable visitation rights to Shepherd. According to TMZ, Shepherd wants nothing to do with the child and has alleged that Sally decided to divorce her before the unborn child was created, in order to obtain child-support payments from her.