Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Charlotte, NC Divorce Advice – Tips Your Spouse May Be Hiding Money (According to The Huffington Post)

Published on: May 1, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A recent article in the Huffington Post discusses clues that should set off alarm bells about whether one spouse is hiding money in preparation for a divorce.

People have special motivation to hide income and assets during a divorce in an attempt to avoid paying higher child support or alimony. One positive note is that hidden income can always be uncovered and the spouse who’s been kept out of the loop can eventually reclaim his or her rightful share.

If you’re afraid that your spouse may be hiding money consult with an experienced alimony lawyer in Charlotte, North Carolina to make sure that a search would be worth your time and expense. After all, forensic accountants can be quite costly so you’ll have to weigh whether the amount is worth chasing after.

Some important warning signs to watch for include the following:

1. If your spouse is self-employed and more knowledgeable about the family finances than you are and has expressed strong feelings about not involving lawyers or financial planners in your divorce.

2. Compare your lifestyle with your reported income. If there is a mismatch, further investigation is likely needed.

3. Look at the ratio of living expenses to income. If a mortgage payment is 75 percent of the reported income, it’s a good bet that there is hidden income floating around somewhere.

4. Pay attention to whether a business owner has multiple tax entities that do not seem to be necessary.

5. Are there any unusual business expenses? If a business is showing expenses that have nothing to do with the work they do it might be time to more fully analyze the books.

North Carolina Divorce Advice – How to Financially Prepare (According to Fox Business)

Published on: April 26, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Divorce is a difficult process, emotionally and financially. Before you blindly step into the mess, there are steps you can take to empower yourself by getting your finances in order. Taking the following steps can help make things run more smoothly and even lower your eventual legal bills by being ready for what’s to come. According to a recent FoxBusiness article, the following five tips are some that every soon-to-be-divorced couple should pay attention to for help making it through the process:

1. Evaluate your assets
The house is the biggest asset that most couples possess but there are still usually many more that qualify as marital assets that will need to be divided. People often forget about pensions from past jobs or stock options and deferred compensation plans. Such assets have values that are paid out in the future, not always simple divisions today.

2. Weigh your debt
To begin, prepare a summary of the last 12 months of all credit card and utility bills as well as personal and jointly held loans. Such a history will help you decide who should take on which debts. It’s important not to take on responsibility for debt associated with property you don’t control. For instance, if you are responsible for paying the car loan, you should be the one driving the car. This helps eliminate a lot risk and being liable for the actions of a soon-to-be former spouse.

3. Run a credit check and history
Everyone should conduct an annual credit check with all three agencies. Knowing where your credit stands prior to divorce can help prevent headaches down the line. It’s possible that you’ll discover a credit card or line of credit that you never knew existed, correcting inaccuracies (or preventing fraud) is important.

4. Track how much you spend
Taking stock of your spending habits and creating a realistic budget for your post-divorce life is crucial. Understanding that your old income will now be used to support two households is important. The same amount of money is now going to pay two rents or two mortgage payments, thus lifestyle adjustments will need to be made. People often underestimate how much they spend and putting everything down on paper forces couples to face the hard truth.

North Carolina Constitutional Amendment to Ban Gay Marriage

Published on: April 24, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A recent CBS News article discussed the decision by North Carolina voters to change the North Carolina state constitution this week to ban gay marriage. The law of the land now reads that the only legally valid domestic partnership in the state is marriage between a man and a woman. The constitutional amendment received broad support, passing 61% to 39%, and made the state the 29th to institute such a ban.

To some the amendment seemed unnecessary given that the state already had a gay marriage ban in place. The new amendment makes it even more difficult for lawmakers to ever attempt to change the law. It also goes further than the previous ban by preventing North Carolina local governments from extending health benefits to the domestic partners of their employees.

The lead up to the vote saw public pleas from Bill Clinton and President Obama. Supporters of gay marriage out-raised and out-advertised their opponents in the lead up to the vote, emphasizing in TV ads that the amendment could also even have repercussions for unmarried straight couples because of its vague language. The anti-amendment coalition raised more than $2 million. The pro-amendment crowd on the other hand, known as Vote for Marriage NC, raised a little more than $1 million.

Unfortunately only 46% of voters realized that the amendment would ban civil unions for gay couples as well as marriage. A recent poll by Public Policy Polling indicated that a majority of North Carolina voters support civil unions, a bit of contradiction given the results of the recent amendment fight.

North Carolina is far from the only state facing such issues. Minnesota faces a ballot gay marriage ban in November, as does Maine. On the other side of the dispute are states like Maryland and Washington who passed laws legalizing same-sex marriage. New Jersey recently did the same but found the measure vetoed by Republican Governor Chris Christie.

The recent passage has already lead to a few disputes. A lesbian who attempted to get a marriage license with her partner and was rejected was arrested with another person just yesterday after they refused to leave a government office. The protest was planned by the gay rights group Campaign for Southern Equality and was meant to broaden public support to allow same-sex marriage.

Tips for a Better Divorce in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: April 19, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to recent article in Psychology Today, while divorce may be ugly for some it does not have to be that way. For many reasons splitting up happens because two people simply weren’t meant to be married. If you’re trying to find ways to be good to your ex during your divorce follow some of these steps to help keep the peace:

1. Don’t try to be friends too soon.

You’ll both need time to heal and recalibrate following a divorce and making sure that you both have a safe distance from one another will allow you to do that on your own schedule. If your relationship is going to have any chance at becoming something new and healthy that allows you to be friends and strong parenting partners, you have to let it all go first. It may feel lousy and lonely for a while but it’s the best way to move forward.

2. Write everything down
Do not assume either of you will remember or abide by the agreement no matter how friendly things are initially. Get everything down in writing so nobody is tempted to ‘forget.’ When it comes to issues of money and parenting, the more details the better. The more that’s clear the less room there will be for fights later on.

3. Outline clear and effective consequences
Agree on what happens if one person does not follow the agreement or somehow does not follow through with their promises. Like with parenting, you need to know what happens to those who break the rules.

4. Resist old patterns
Part of the relief of divorce is you are no longer responsible for your partner’s multitude of issues. The same goes for them. You both are released from one another so be released. Resist the temptation to give or seek old patterns of support.

Divorce Advice for Befriending your Ex

Published on: April 17, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

The old saying is “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” It’s really easy when meeting your new love’s former spouse to have thoughts turn negative. And while it’s true that some are every bit as evil as you may want to believe, exes don’t always have to be bad news. Contrary to popular belief, there are situations where an ex can be strictly friends or just a helpful co-parent. With that in mind, follow these rules from Match.com to help manage an ex in your life.

1. Set the right tone and be friendly
It’s true what they say; you usually get what you expect from people. If you’re already expecting the wicked witch and treat the ex as such that’s likely what you’ll get. Even if the ex had good intentions your negativity could turn her away.

2. Find common interests the two of you share
You might find that after getting to know the ex that you actually have lots in common (besides your current partner of course). Avoiding over sharing (which we’ll discuss later) and the two of you might be able to get along swimmingly.

3. Never discuss your current relationship issues
As we mentioned above too much information can be a danger of hanging out with an ex. In order to be friendly with your current partner’s ex you MUST leave the personal details of your current relationship out of it. Not only will telling too much invite a third person into your relationship, but it can poison the remaining good feelings between the recently broken up parties.

4. Watch feelings of jealousy
Trust is obviously an important ingredient to any relationship, but when it comes to exes who are still in the picture, it’s essential. Dealing with someone who knew him before you did (and probably knows things about him that you have yet to discover) can be unnerving, to say the least. The fear that they might get back together can lurk beneath the surface but is ultimately destructive not just to your possible friendship but even to your relationship. Constant worrying can create problems that may not have existed in their absence.

What to do if You are Facing Divorce (According to the Huffington Post)

Published on: April 12, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent article on the HuffingtonPost.com, the following steps should be taken if you see a divorce occurring in the not too distant future. These important actions can protect yourself and your future.

1. Go see an experienced North Carolina family law attorney

Many people wait too long before seeking legal advice about an impending divorce. There are things that you could be doing to protect your assets and help ensure a better outcome in the event you do have to go to trial.

2. Gather financial information and put the documents in a safe place
When you decide to get a divorce there’s a chance that money or information has been hidden. An important first step is to make copies of all the records you can get your hands on and photograph any valuable personal property. Collectibles can disappear in the heat of a nasty divorce and proof is often hard to come by. A record of all of these assets should be kept away from your home in a safe deposit box or with a friend.

3. Don’t try to hide money
Most people who try to hide assets from a spouse aren’t very good at it. If you’re caught doing so the judge may decide to rule harshly against your bad behavior or may be more inclined to believe you’ve done more that you just weren’t caught doing. Judges have a great deal of discretion in divorce cases and you always want to appear to be the “good spouse” in the judge’s eyes.

4. Don’t trash your spouse to others, especially the kids
Though it’s easy to do, it’s important for the sake of the children not to attack the other parent during a tough divorce. The same is true of mutual friends, it’s best to follow the old advice that if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. While you may win over the kids in the short-term they will eventually see through the anger of your remarks and may sympathize with the other parent.

Virtual Child Visitation brings North Carolina Parents and Children Together

Published on: April 10, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A recent article in the Washington Times discussed the not uncommon occurrence following divorce is one parent moving out of the city or even state. New job opportunities, family times or new relationships can cause one parent to need to relocate. When kids are involved this can cause problems and much stress for parents and children as they worry about a strained relationship developing as a result of distance.

According to a report for the National Center for State Courts, an estimated 18 million children have separated or divorced parents, and an additional 17 million more children have parents who have never been married. One out of four of these children have a parent living in a different city. Within four years after separation or divorce, 75% of mothers will relocate at least once, and of that number over half will do so a second time. As a result, close to 10 million children do not have regular face-to-face interaction with one of their parents.

Technology has now provided an option that did not exist before. Parents can now stay in touch with their children and avoid losing that close relationship thanks to email, texting, Facebook and video conferencing systems such as Skype. This new trend of “virtual visitation” can make long-distance parenting much easier for both parent and child.

The term “virtual visitation” has a very specific meaning under the law and refers to the rights of a non-custodial parent to have electronic communication with their children. Since the early 1990s when the first cases arose concerning the issue many states have enacted provisions concerning the subject. Utah enacted the first electronic visitation law; Illinois was the most recent state where virtual visitation became law in 2010. So far six states have laws on the books covering “virtual” or “electronic” visitation rights including North Carolina: Florida, Texas and Wisconsin are the other three. Twenty-two other states have their own efforts underway to add similar laws to their books.

Parental Accountability Courts May Help Those Behind on Child Support Payments

Published on: April 5, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, parents who are delinquent on their child support payments in Georgia have reason to hope that they’ll see their children rather than the inside of a jail cell thanks to a new program instituted by courts in the state.

The reason for the change is the introduction of an innovative program in Georgia called parental accountability court. Thanks to the program, parents can avoid jail and instead chip away at their back child support.

Parental accountability courts have lately been popping up across the state. They are the product of a joint effort by Georgia’s Child Support Services department and local court systems and designed to offer an alternative to jail. Using resources that exist in the county the courts address specific problems of each person including unemployment, drug use, lack of transportation, etc. that prevent them from making regular child support payments.

“There’s a lot of guys sitting in jail before this program came and they were getting further and further behind,” Smith said of other fathers late with support payments. “If it weren’t for this program, I’d probably still be sitting in jail wondering how I was going to get out.”

In Georgia the problem is massive with a recent report from the Department of Human Services indicating that four out of every 10 parents required to pay child support are delinquent. In child-support cases, the parent that’s behind on the payments can wind up in jail for up to three months, costing the taxpayers $1,500 per month. Moreover, when they’re released they have the same problem as before, no job and no money to pay support with. As a result, many constantly circulate between jail and court with no problems being solved all the while.

Of the programs that have been started across the state there appears to be tremendous potential. In the Smith’s home of Hall County, the court’s first year of operation saw child support payments from non-custodial parents grow by $45,000. Simultaneously, the cost of incarcerating non-paying parents fell by $178,000 as the program helped people find work.

Family Court Awards Wife Custody of Frozen Embryos

Published on: April 3, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent story on Philly.com, one Pennsylvania woman was recently made happy by winning custody over the frozen, fertilized eggs her ex-husband wanted to ensure were destroyed.

The recent decision by a Pennsylvania appeals court upheld a lower court ruling in a Chester County divorce case. In the case a three-judge Superior Court panel said the dispute could have been avoided if the couple had simply signed an agreement discussing what to do with the pre-embryos in the event of death or divorce. The panel went on to say that the General Assembly in the state has never addressed the issue so turning to statutes was not going to help.
According to court documents, the couple, Lynn Reiss and Bret Howard Reber, began preparing for IVF after Lynn was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2003. The result of their preparation was the creation of 13 pre-embryos using Bret’s sperm and Lynn’s eggs.

Bret eventually filed for divorce in 2006 and went on to have a child with another woman. Lynn was convinced that because of her medical treatments and her age she would be unable to have children so she sought out the pre-embryos that remained frozen. She did so as part of a push for her half of the marital property. The lower court in Chester County last year awarded the pre-embryos to Lynn.

“Because Wife cannot achieve genetic parenthood otherwise, we conclude that Wife’s interest in biological procreation through the use of these pre-embryos outweighs Husband’s professed interest against procreation,” the court said the decision affirmed by the appeals court.

The Superior Court noted that Lynn had promised never to seek child support in the event that she does give birth to a child. However, the court ominously warned that it could not legally prevent Lynn from filing for child support and that this case could yet again wind up back in court.

Divorce Rings in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: March 29, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to an odd story in the New York Times, the concept of “divorce rings” is starting to gain appeal among a certain set. What is a divorce ring you may ask? Imagine a man bent on one knee, gazing up at surprised woman. He removes a jewelry box from his jacket and hands her a diamond ring in the shape of a broken heart. “Honey, will you divorce me?”
This bizarre scenario may not be as crazy as it seems. Alice Kwartler Antiques is now selling an 18-karat gold and diamond “divorce ring,” complete with a solitaire and jagged broken heart. At $3,200, the ring might cost more than a lot of people’s wedding bands. Rather than symbolizing eternal love, this one is meant to signify that things didn’t work out.
Using rings as a symbol of marital status can be traced back to ancient times. In the modern era, there are three marital statuses: single, married, and divorced. The idea of a “divorce ring” is just another way to signal a shift in a person’s life. The breakup ring would quickly let people know that a marriage is over, just as a wedding ring says that you’re taken. The ring can help avoid tiresome conversations with people about the status of your relationship and serves as a warning sign to newcomers.

Rather than wait to receive such a ring, others might decide to purchase one for themselves as a symbol of surviving the pain of the divorce process. There’s a spirit of starting over, or renewal in the rings and buyers have been known to throw themselves divorce parties or splurge on “divorcemoons.”