Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Property Division and Equitable Distribution Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina ::

Published on: January 1, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

For those who work for the federal government, the term Thrift Savings Plan (or TSP) is likely very familiar. The TSP acts as a retirement savings plan for all federal civilian employees and even some in the military. A TSP is what’s known as a defined contribution plan and functions similar to a 401(k) plan.

Those who either have a TSP of their own or are married to a spouse who works for the government might wonder how the retirement vehicles are handled during a divorce. It’s important to know from the start that a TSP is capable of division in a divorce. It can even be garnished to fulfill the holder’s past-due alimony or child support obligations.

The spouse of the person with a TSP can receive some general information about the retirement account, but not many critical details. Upon written request, the government will provide a spouse or a spouse’s attorney quest with the account balance, any loan balances and statements. However, the TSP administrator will not reveal personal identifying information connected with the account.

A TSP can be split by providing the administrator with a court order that complies with federal regulations. The TSP provides a sample of such an order that contains all the necessary language, a step that makes drafting the order easier. Once the administrator receives a valid order they will pay out the amount contained in the order to the designated party.

If you are married to someone with a TSP, it might be beneficial to have your attorney freeze the account with a court order. Such a step will ensure that your spouse cannot withdraw money from the account or make any loans against its value, thus reducing your share of the TSP.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Five (More) Things You Should Know Before Divorcing

Published on: December 27, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As a follow-up to the last post we did about Yahoo’s 10 tips for those preparing for a divorce, here’s our spin on the last five bits of advice.

First, don’t bother trying to get revenge on your ex, it seldom works anyway. The Yahoo piece mentioned one especially nasty example of a wife telling her husband’s boss about an office affair. The news not only got her husband fired, but resulted in a huge loss of income for everyone involved. The wife’s alimony and child support payments were slashed as the ex looked for new employment. Even in less serious cases, badmouthing often works against you. Talking badly about your ex in front of the kids is never good as it puts them in a very uncomfortable position. It’s best to bite your tongue and channel your frustration in more positive ways.

Next, being divorced shouldn’t be viewed as a terrible failure. There’s nothing scandalous about a failed marriage and you shouldn’t concern yourself with worries about stigmas. Divorce just means that a relationship didn’t work, not that you are incapable of loving or being loved. Keep things in perspective as you move forward and meet new people.

Third, the holidays will be a real adjustment. It’s hard to prepare for how difficult spending Christmas or birthdays or Thanksgiving away from your kids will be until you experience it. It’s best to make plans early to ensure that when your kids are away you stay busy. Wallowing in your own depression won’t help the time pass any more quickly.

Fourth, though your kids might not say much about the divorce, their actions will speak volumes. Lots of kids will have trouble verbalizing their concerns, but pay attention to their behavior to see how they’re coping. Among young kids, if you see them regressing and behaving even younger than they are, that might be a concern. For older kids, anger, truancy problems or abnormal displays of defiance might be signs of trouble. The best way to handle issues is to address them as a family so everyone can talk about the changes they face.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Five Things You Should Know Before Divorcing

Published on: December 25, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent article on Yahoo!, divorce experts and ordinary people who’ve gone through a messy breakup shared some tips on what they wish they had known before starting the sometimes-grueling process. The article contained 10 tips, the first five of which are summarized below. The rest will appear in a future post, so stay tuned.

First things first, understand that it’s going to take a while to heal and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t rush the grieving process; after all, everyone has to bounce back at their own pace. Having a close network of friends and family around can help ease the process, but a good therapist who can help you work through feelings of anger or fear might also be worth considering. One word of warning, make sure to work with a therapist that has dealt with divorce before, either personally or with other clients. After all, you don’t want to work through your issues with a novice.

Second, become an expert on your financial information. Many people may not realize how much of a divorce ultimately revolves around money. Get familiar with your bank accounts, your income, expenses, debts and assets. These numbers will prove critical in the coming weeks and months and you want to make sure you’re armed with all the facts before any decisions are made.

Third, start planning for the future, now. If you’re considering divorce then you need to also be prepared for the financial reality of dividing the same income between two houses. Figure out how much it will cost you to live, either in the house or in a new place if that’s what you want. While it’s sure to be an emotional time, financial realities cannot be ignored and bills will need to be paid. Splitting before you’re financially ready can cause headaches down the road and a bit of planning can usually solve the problem.

Fourth, count on unexpected costs. Even if you’ve planned things carefully there’s bound to be something you forgot or something entirely new that just popped up. Though you may be counting on a check from your ex right away, either child support or alimony, this doesn’t always work like it should. Sometimes an angry ex can delay payment to purposely cause financial hardship. Try to stockpile some money so can wait out a few weeks if need be.

Child Support Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: Kansas Sperm Donor Slapped With Child Support Bill

Published on: December 20, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

File this story under the tagline, “cautionary tale.” According to a recent Yahoo! article, one Kansas man who donated sperm to a lesbian couple has now found himself in the surprising position of being asked by the state to pay child support.

The sperm donor, William Marotta, gave the goods after signing a contract that specifically stated he would not be considered the father of the child nor would he ever be liable for child support. Though the girl who was born as a result of his gift lived for years without incident, this past fall the state of Kansas filed a petition asking that the man be declared the father of the child and be financially responsible for her after the lesbian couple endured financial difficulties.

Marotta has said he will ask the court to dismiss the claim. The state says a law on the books is clear that sperm must be donated through a licensed doctor for a father to be free of any future financial obligation. In his case, Marotta donated the semen after meeting the couple on Craigslist. The state is now asking him to pay child support, including almost $6,000 in expenses dating as far back as the child’s birth.

Marotta’s attorneys have said that the man has no parental rights because of the contract he signed with the girl’s mothers. They claim that the clear language of the agreement means that the man cannot be held financially responsible for the child. Marotta says he responded to the Craigslist ad seeking sperm donations for $50. He turned down the money, saying he and his wife, who have no children of their own, simply wanted to help a couple that wanted a child.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: NASCAR CEO Fails to Keep Divorce Records Sealed

Published on: December 18, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a report by the Charlotte Observer, the North Carolina Court of Appeals decided to uphold a lower judge’s decision to unseal the divorce records from the Chairman and CEO of NASCAR. The case was an especially interesting one and the details have now begun to emerge.

Lawyers for the NASCAR CEO Brian France spent years arguing that the documents should be kept confidential. The papers concern the 2008 divorce between Brian and his then wife, Megan France. The two have a colorful history given that they have been married and divorced twice now.

The Court ruled last year that the public’s right to view public court proceedings outweighed France’s interest in keeping the records private. Then Mecklenburg County District Court Judge Jena Culler reversed an earlier decision by another judge, deciding to unseal the records. Brian France appealed yet again, which meant the decision would be stayed until the Court of Appeals had an opportunity to hear the case again.

France’s attorneys argued before the Court of Appeals that allowing Judge Culler to overturn the order of another judge with an equal rank would result in “judicial anarchy.” The panel with the Court of Appeals was unmoved. Instead, they held that Judge Culler’s decision to unseal the divorce was valid. Given that the three-judge panel was unanimous there is no automatic right to appeal to the North Carolina Supreme Court.

Though records have not yet been released, statements made in court by attorneys on both sides reveal that there are plenty of juicy details in the paperwork. The two are involved in a dispute over whether Megan violated a confidentiality agreement signed during their most recent divorce.

Child Custody Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC :: How to Handle Christmas During a Divorce

Published on: December 13, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Everyone knows how special Christmas is and all the memories and family and tradition associated with the holiday are exactly what make it so hard for those going through a divorce. Though it may seem difficult to believe, Christmas as a divorced parent can be just as special as it was before, assuming you follow some good advice as discussed on About.com.

Though most parents will find the season very emotional, especially early on, it’s important to remember that your children come first and you should try to not let your own feelings impact how your children experience the holidays. For instance, though missing out on spending time with your children over the holidays may be hard, it’s important that the kids not feel guilty for spending time with their other parent. While you can understandably be upset, keep the feelings to yourself.

It is also important after a divorce to begin new traditions. While some things can stay the same, others simply cannot. Rather than worry about all the things that will be different, embrace the changes that divorce has brought and take the opportunity to start doing something new and fun. Any past seasonal behaviors that were once wonderful but now dredge up negative emotions can be done away with and replaced by new and exciting activities.

It’s also critical to reach out to friends and family for support during the Christmas season. It’s true what they say, the more the merrier. The more people around to lighten your mood the better off you’ll be. Other people can be a great distraction and help keep you out of a bad emotional place.

Another good idea to take your mind off your own problems is to do something nice for others. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or deliver meals to senior citizens. Do something for someone else less fortunate and it will help remind you of all the good things you still having going for you. It also can help teach your children a valuable lesson about giving back to others, which is what the season is really about.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: North Carolina Court of Appeals Wrestles With Common-Law Marriage

Published on: December 11, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A North Carolina Appeals Court says that couples that want to be treated as spouses in a North Carolina divorce proceeding must establish their common-law marriages in other states first before moving to North Carolina.

Though marriage is a wonderful spiritual union between two people, the reality is under North Carolina law it’s a legal contract. When a valid marriage takes place, spouses automatically assume certain legal rights, such as the right to the other’s estate. Though these rights apply automatically to married couples, dealings with other couples aren’t so simple.

The North Carolina Court of Appeals ruled early last week that couples must establish common-law marriages in other states before they can be considered as spouses in divorce proceedings. Common-law marriages are not recognized in North Carolina. However, the appeals court said that the state’s courts “will recognize as valid a common-law marriage ‘if the acts alleged to have created it took place in a state where such a marriage is valid.'”
The case in question concerns a woman, Hulya Garrett, who is seeking alimony, division of property and a divorce from her boyfriend of many years, Charles Burris. The two lived together in Texas for eight years, a state that does permit common-law marriage. To qualify as a common-law marriage in Texas, a couple must prove three things: 1) that they agree to be married; 2) that they live together as husband and wife; and 3) that they represent themselves to others as spouses.

Divorce Attorneys and Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: What to do if you and your ex are in business together?

Published on: December 6, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Though it can be hard for business partners to keep personal issues out of the workplace, the trouble pales in comparison to the issues faced by partners that used to be married to one another. A recent article in the New York Times discussed what happens when a couple who runs a business gets divorced but wants to continue working together.

Given a 2007 Census Bureau estimate that showed husbands and wives own about 3.7 million businesses and the high rate of divorce, this situation is likely more common than many people realize. The following bits of advice are meant to help make the best of what almost anyone would describe as a difficult situation.

First, nothing is more important than respect. In many marriages there is simply too much anger to ever be able to work well together in the future. In others, the parties simply fell out of love but continue to trust and respect one another. Only you know if there are open lines of communication with your spouse and whether you can count on your ex to be consistent and predictable in your business relationship.

Second, seeking professional help can be very valuable. Unlike most other couples that divorce, business owners must still see each other on a regular or even daily basis. That can make it hard to heal and move ahead into new relationships. Seeking professional help can be important to deal with this state of limbo. Allowing personal feelings to interfere in a work conversation can be disastrous and learning tools to avoid that are crucial.

Next, you have to sit down and craft a real partnership agreement. This is something that anyone who partners with a stranger would do right away, but a step almost always skipped when a business is formed with a spouse. Assuming you never created such an agreement, once the divorce is final it’s critical that you work together to craft a plan for what to do and how to split assets if one partner wants out of the business. Having an agreement will add security to what is likely already a tense situation.

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC :: What to do if you’re thinking about remarrying in North Carolina

Published on: December 4, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Many North Carolinians come out of a divorce and vow to never be married again. The process was emotionally and financially draining and often leaves people broken-hearted or generally exhausted. Though this feeling can last a while, many eventually grow out of their concerns and may decide to make another go of it. If that’s the case for you, you need to be ready for some of the concerns that arise during a second marriage and understand the legal consequences of getting hitched a second time.

The first thing you need to realize is that as soon as you remarry, any alimony payments you currently receive will end. If you have any children from a previous marriage and they live with you, your child support may also be affected. This is because if your former spouse seeks a child support modification it’s possible that the court could include your new husband’s income when making the calculations.

If you’re getting older it’s important to note that you might also be giving up other forms of your ex’s money, such as Social Security benefits. Individuals who were married long enough to receive a share of their spouse’s benefits become ineligible for them if they remarry before age 60. This doesn’t mean you’re left out in the dark, as you may instead be able to collect benefits from your new spouse.

There are other legal restrictions to be aware of before remarriage, especially involving children. Many divorce settlement agreements contain clauses preventing parents from relocating, which may limit your ability to start a new life with a future spouse in a different location. If your agreement contains such geographic restrictions you may have to seek a modification and convince a judge that a move is in your children’s best interest.

Child Custody Attorneys and Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: Disability and Its Impact on Child Custody Hearings

Published on: November 29, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

For many parents in North Carolina, obtaining child custody can feel like an uphill battle. One good example is men who feel like they have to fight harder to get equal time with their former wives. As much as we all would like to believe that discrimination does not exist in family law, anecdotal evidence suggests that it is sadly alive and well.

One group that appears to suffer from widespread discrimination in child custody cases is disabled parents. Although the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 helped eliminate most legal discrimination against the disabled, a new report by the National Council on Disability says that the struggles that disabled parents have been dealing with continues to this day. The report claims that disabled parents routinely suffer bias in the U.S. legal system through denial of child custody, many times against the best interests of their children. The bias extends even further than divorcing couples and can result in children being removed from households where both parents are disabled to instead live in foster care.

Some experts believe that while it may be sad, it can be in the best interest of the children to remove them from the care of their disabled parents. They claim children need stability that disabled parents cannot provide. However, stripping such parents of their rights runs in direct violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act.

According to the report, more than 6 million children in the U.S. have disabled parents, and the rate at which these children are removed from the home has reached as high as 80%. Rather than sending children to live with strangers in foster homes, the report says that there should be more backup support for parents to avoid possible problems that arise from their disabilities.