Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What children’s expenses are covered by child support?”

Russian President Vladimir Putin and his soon-to-be ex-wife Lyudmila announced last week that they would be divorcing after 30 years of marriage. The split appears to be caused by the strains of Putin’s job.

In a press conference, Putin and Lyudmila said that they had gradually grown apart over the last several years since Putin assumed power. Apparently the stress and ceremonial obligations took a toll on Lyudmila who said she much preferred a private life not in the spotlight. In words that echo those of many couples who have grown apart due to one spouse’s demanding job, the two said that they had begun to live separate lives and would sometimes go days or weeks without talking.

Though you would think the divorce might set up an epic brawl, the two promised that the split would remain amicable and civilized. The couple has two adult children and say they want to keep things calm for them and for the country. The two say they recognized the demands of the Russian presidency had turned them into different people than when they first met and said the divorce was best for everyone involved.

Putin’s marriage has been the subject of some discussion for years now in Russia and internationally as many reporters took note of how rarely Lyudmila was seen standing beside her husband. Last year rumors surfaced that Putin had begun an affair with a young Russian gymnast and many wonder whether that affair was the straw that broke the camel’s back and led to the recent split.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Do I need an attorney to get a Divorce in North Carolina?”

In our continuing series of articles based on the Yahoo piece by Ronnie Tyler about seven important reasons to end a bad relationship, we’ve now reached the final bit of advice. The first reason to get out of a bad marriage is because you deserve better. Second, because your children deserve better. Three is because your spouse won’t change (at least not in the time that you want them to). Number four is that someone has to take the first step. The fifth reason is because your environment should not define your state of mind. Number six is because you have to remember that you are in control of your own happiness. Finally, the seventh reason to end a bad marriage is because you never know what life has in store.

Tyler says that she has learned that life is an ever-changing journey and no one knows where the ride will go next. Even in some of the darkest moments, hope of change lies just around the corner. If you are stuck in a dead-end relationship you may not remember what love felt like but that doesn’t mean your good days are behind you.

For one thing, there’s always a chance to make a change and start anew with your current partner. Once you decide that enough is enough and set your mind to either fixing things you might be shocked at how quickly change starts to happen. Shaking up a stale marriage might turn out to be the best decision for both parties who are later able to reconnect and find a new and deeper love.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

In our continuing saga of posts based on the Yahoo piece by Ronnie Tyler about seven important reasons to end a bad relationship, we have now reached the sixth piece of advice. The first reason to get out of a bad marriage is because you deserve better. Second, because your children deserve better. Three is because your spouse won’t change (at least not in the time that you want them to). Number four is that someone has to take the first step. The fifth reason is because your environment should not define your state of mind. Number six is because you have to remember that you are in control of your own happiness.

Tyler says that people who are stuck in a difficult marriage need to take a deep breath and, though it might be hard, own up to their role in the problems. Playing a victim is not only a pointless waste of time, but also a good way to avoid taking responsibility for the part you played in creating the relationship trouble. Though you may not be the one engaging in destructive behavior, it always takes two to tango. You may have permitted bad behavior to go on for too long or sent mixed messages about what kind of treatment you would tolerate from your significant other.

Regardless of the issue, take stock of your situation and then take responsibility, it is the only way to move forward according to Tyler. Once you have acknowledged your own responsibility for the relationship trouble, it is important to take time to come up with some measurable goals to improve things. Don’t just sit back and wait for things to get better, chances are they never will. Improvement only happens with effort on someone’s part.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Does adultery affect who gets custody?”

In our continuing saga of posts based on the Yahoo piece by Ronnie Tyler about seven important reasons to end a bad relationship, we have now reached the fourth piece of advice. The first reason Tyler offered up to consider getting out of a bad marriage is because you deserve better. The second is that your children deserve better. Three was because your spouse won’t change (at least not in the time that you want them to). Number four was because someone has to take the first step and now, number five: because your environment should not define your state of mind.

Tyler says that it is important in the midst of relationship problems to not let your issues consume your entire way of thinking. Sure, things might be bad at home, but that does not mean you have to adopt a negative outlook on life. Also, just because there are problems does not mean the problems cannot be overcome through hard work and honest communication.

Too many people fall into a trap of thinking that the problems experienced by themselves or their spouses are larger than they actually are. Take a step back, try and maintain some perspective on your relationship issues. You are not the first couple to experience problems and you won’t be the last. Realize that you have options and are not stuck in a bad situation for the rest of your life.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

In our continuing saga of posts based on the Yahoo piece by Ronnie Tyler about seven important reasons to end a bad relationship, we have now reached the fourth piece of advice. The first reason Tyler offered up to consider getting out of a bad marriage is because you deserve better. The second is that your children deserve better. Three was because your spouse won’t change (at least not in the time that you want them to). Now for number four: because someone has to take the first step.

The conventional wisdom when it comes to relationship advice is that it takes two to tango. People always say that it takes both partners working together to make a relationship work. Marriage counselors say no one spouse can shoulder all the burden of making a marriage healthy and loving. While Tyler agrees that this is usually the case, it is mainly valuable advice for those trying to make a relationship work, not those facing problems.

In the case of couples facing an impasse, the actions of one spouse may be just the trick to get a couple out of a rut and a relationship either back on track or headed for divorce. After all, there is no guarantee that both parties will be on the same page at the same time or that the problems that are bothering one spouse will also be a concern to the other. Rather than sit around and wait for your partner to be bothered by the same thing, it can be a good thing to take action on your own and give your spouse a chance to catch up.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

In our continuing series of articles based on the piece by Ronnie Tyler about seven important reasons to end a bad relationship, we have now reached the third bit of advice. The first reason Tyler gives to consider getting out of a bad marriage is because you deserve better. The second is that your children deserve better. Now for number three: because your spouse won’t change (at least not in the time that you want them to).

This third reason can be a very difficult one for some people to come to grips with. This is especially the case for Type A individuals who are used to exerting control over their lives and those around them. You might think that if you just nag your spouse long enough or insist that some behaviors change then they will finally cave and decide to shape up.

Sadly, that is seldom the case. By the time most people reach marrying age, they have begun to find out who they are and, more importantly, who they are not. Personality habits begin to become deeply ingrained and it can be difficult if not impossible to make wholesale changes in behavior. Though small shifts are always possible, the fact is overnight miracles are seldom ever seen.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

This blog continues our series of posts discussing a recent Yahoo article about reasons to get out of bad marriage.

In the first article, we mentioned the first reason given by Ronnie Tyler, the author of the piece. We discussed how a desire for happiness and a recognition that you deserve better might be a reason to either divorce or make serious changes to a relationship.

This week, the second reason given by Tyler to get out of a bad relationship is because your children deserve better. Though you deserving a happy and fulfilled marriage should be enough of a reason to make a change, many people find it easy to put their own needs last. However, those with children understand how important the parental desire to protect your offspring truly is.

Tyler says that though some people may not have the strength to get out of a bad relationship for themselves, the hope is that they would be able to make the change for their children. Tyler says that parents should consider how the bad relationship might negatively affect the kids. For instance, the fighting and name-calling can send bad messages to impressionable children about what qualifies as a “healthy” relationship. In cases where more serious problems exist, such as infidelity or abuse, getting out becomes essential to shielding your children from a potentially destructive parent.

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Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

Yahoo recently featured an article discussing a list of seven reasons why couple should go ahead and get out of a bad marriage now. The article is thought provoking and raises a lot of important questions that couples in the midst of a bad relationship should grapple with when deciding what to do about their marriage.

Though some commenters were irritated that the article was flippant or possibly insensitive, that was not the intention. Instead, the author, Ronnie Tyler, said that the piece was designed to challenge unhappy couples, highlighting serious issues that people should consider when deciding what to do about their relationship. The author of the piece said that the idea for the article came out a concern that her friends and family not stay in miserable relationships out of fear of trying something new. Everyone deserves to not only survive, but thrive, and being saddled with an unhappy relationship is one way to endure long-term suffering.

The author also explained that when she lists the seven reasons to get out of a bad relationship, that she does not necessarily mean divorce. Though for some divorce might be the best option, for others “getting out” is just an instruction to make serious life changes that alter the trajectory of your relationship. This could be the kind of shake up that you have been considering for years, but never had the courage to insist on.

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