Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Annoying Misconceptions About North Carolina Divorce

Published on: January 14, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What children’s expenses are covered by child support?”

Divorce can be painful or it can be a tremendous relief, sometimes it can even be both at the same time. Given how emotional the divorce process is, it’s no surprise that people react in very different ways. That’s because divorce is an incredibly personal process. Having friends or family offer what they think are helpful bits of advice can actually lead to even more frustration, as outsiders attempt to generalize the specifics of your marriage.

A recent article in The Huffington Post discusses one woman’s perspective on her divorce and lists some of the most irritating pieces of advice she was given by friends and family members. Though they may have been meant to be helpful, the author of the piece explains that they were often maddening and perpetuated wrongheaded views of divorce.

One of the first irritating bits of advice listed in the article is that it is normal for divorce to be adversarial. Though this idea has become conventional wisdom, the author of the piece explains that it is simply not true for all couples. Though divorce can often be stressful, couples are frequently able to put their hurt feelings aside for the good of their children and behave like the adults that they are. Assuming that divorce will always devolve into a war often is a self-fulfilling prophecy and should be avoided at all costs.

Another bit of advice that got under the author’s skin was that when people say that broken marriages, like other things, should simply be fixed. The problem with this overused line is that it oversimplifies the complexities of marriage. Relationships are not broken down water heaters that can simply be repaired with a bit of hard work. Divorce should not be viewed as the easy way out, it is a very difficult process for most everyone and requires a lot of strength to make the decision to leave a bad marriage. Just because you chose to leave your marriage does not make you a quitter.

Texas Surgeon Facing Charges After Electronically Spying On Wife

Published on: January 9, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does uncontested divorce mean?”

A prominent surgeon at the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, TX is in hot water after being accused of working with an IT specialist to electronically monitor his wife while the two were going through a bitter divorce.
Back in 2011, authorities claim that Dr. Steven Curley began working with a hospital IT specialist to install spyware programs on his former’s wife’s computer. The software that was installed on the woman’s computer is called eBlaster and is available for only $99. The program works by recording keystrokes to capture emails, passwords, web searches and Internet history.

The wife began suspecting that she was being monitored after the divorce was over and took her concerns to authorities. Investigators slowly built a case and a grand jury was empaneled to consider the matter. Ultimately, Dr. Curley and the IT analyst, Hank Lehmann, were both arrested on felony charges.

Since the charges were filed, Dr. Curley has left M.D Anderson and has moved to Baylor College of Medicine where he now serves as chief of surgical oncology. Dr. Curley’s attorney says that his client wants to fight the charges, but is afraid that media attention surrounding the accusations will harm his career.

Adultery To Blame For Potential Breakup Of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel

Published on: January 7, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Does adultery affect my divorce case?”

Infidelity appears to have caused serious problems in the marriage of Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake. According to several gossip sites the couple are preparing to split after rumors of infidelity surfaced. In addition to the alleged adultery, friends close to the couple are saying that their constant fighting over baby plans have also weighed on the relationship.

According to OK! Magazine, the marriage between the couple has been on the rocks for months now as the two have faced a variety of marital troubles. For one thing, Timberlake’s busy schedule touring around the world has made it difficult for the two to spend any substantial time together. His touring schedule has led Timberlake to put off having children and starting a family, something that Biel has taken issue with. Apparently before the two agreed to tie the knot, Timberlake promised Biel that they would try for a baby in short order. However, touring appears to have taken precedence.

In addition to the hectic professional schedule and disagreements over children, others have said that rumors of infidelity have wreaked havoc with the couple. Though rumors have plagued Timberlake for years, Biel appears to have now had enough. Friends say she has moved out of her home and has gotten an apartment of her own. The decision to live “separate and apart” was designed to lay the groundwork for the eventual divorce.

Divorce Based On Improper Pea-Eating

Published on: January 2, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “When do you get alimony?”

Anyone who has been married or even in a long-term relationship knows that some things your significant other does can be irritating. Whether it’s snoring or taking too long to get ready, small habits can overtime become less quirky and more obnoxious. Though these pesky traits might boil over into arguments, they are seldom the cause of divorce. However, a couple in Kuwait say that their divorce is moving forward precisely because of such an annoying behavior.

So what’s the offending conduct that justifies divorce? According to Al Arabiya News, the problem has to do with the way one husband eats his peas. The report indicates that the Kuwaiti couple was only married a short time, less than a week in fact, before the trouble arose. The wife said that she had no idea that her husband ate peas in such an unusual way and that she could not tolerate a lifetime of coping with the offensive conduct.

Utah Man Sues After Son Put Up For Adoption Without Warning

Published on: December 31, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What can I do to gain custody of my child in North Carolina?”

A lawsuit out of Utah has sparked nationwide coverage after a man claims that his son’s biological mother put their child up for adoption without his knowledge. The man has responded by suing the woman, the adoptive parents and the adoption agency for $130 million in federal court, claiming that the decision amounts to kidnapping.

The adoption took place soon after the boy was born, roughly three years ago. The father, Jake Strickland, says that the boy’s biological mother, the adoption agency and the adoptive parents all conspired to conduct a secretive and illegal adoption that deprived him of access to his son.

Strickland met Whitney Demke back in 2009 and the two dated for several months before breaking up prior to the boy’s birth in December 2010. Strickland says he knew about the child and that the two had remained on friendly terms despite the breakup. He says that they had discussed the issue of custody and that both agreed to share custody of the child as he got older. Strickland also says he gave Demke money whenever she needed it and had planned on naming him Jack.

Despite the seemingly positive mood, Demke placed the child up for adoption the day after he was born. Strickland says he was not informed about the adoption until a week after it was over. Days after the revelation, Demke admitted to having planned the adoption for months, deciding that the boy would be better off in the hands of a more stable and financially grounded couple.

Charlotte Man Sues Ex-Wife’s Lover And Website Operator After Affair Ruined His Marriage

Published on: December 26, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Does adultery affect my divorce case?”

A man from Charlotte, North Carolina has filed suit against a website and a man, blaming both for the demise of his 13-year marriage. The lawsuit might sound like a strange one, after all, most affairs simply lead to hurt feelings and possibly divorce, not a civil case. However, unlike most states, North Carolina law permits wronged spouses to sue in civil court for the demise of their marriage, an attempt to financially punish wrongdoers.

The unusual approach is based on a North Carolina law that allows for lawsuits based on alienation of affection. These laws exist so that when a marriage fails due to the behavior of someone other than the husband and wife, the innocent spouse can sue, attempting to inflict financial pain on the philanderer.

North Carolina is one of only a half dozen states with such laws on the books. Several times now judges and legislators have attempted to repeal the state’s law, but with no real success. Instead, there has actually been an increase in alienation of affection lawsuits in recent years, with several multimillion-dollar verdicts.

In this case, Robert Schindler sued AshleyMadison.com and his ex-wife’s new husband, Chay Montemayor, claiming that both conspired to seduce Schindler’s wife into leaving their marriage. Schindler says that back in 2007, his wife met Montemayor (who was also married at the time) on AshleyMadison.com, a website that refers to itself as “the most recognized name in infidelity.” The two began an affair and ultimately divorced their respective spouses, marrying each other last year.

Georgia Man Forced To Pay Former Fiancée Thousands For Failure To Marry :: Mecklenburg Family Law Attorney

Published on: December 24, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does uncontested divorce mean?”

The Georgia Court of Appeals recently affirmed a ruling by a county superior court that ordered Christopher Kelley to pay his former fiancée nearly $50,000 for failing to marry the woman. You read that right; Kelley has been ordered to pay tens of thousands of dollars to Melissa Cooper for failing to follow through with his promise of marriage.

According to court documents, Kelley proposed to Cooper back in 2004, giving her an engagement ring worth more than $10,000. Cooper moved into a new home with Kelley and soon had a child with him. Cooper says Kelley then asked her to quit her job and stay home with the child; something Kelley contends was a mutual decision.

Cooper claims that several years after the proposal she learned that Kelley had been in a long-term relationship with another woman. Cooper confronted Kelley who admitted the affair, but said that he would stop seeing the other woman and again promised to marry Cooper. However, several years later Cooper says she found out Kelley had met someone new and this time was not willing to break things off. Instead, Kelley told Cooper to pack up and leave home, saying he now wanted to live with his new girlfriend.

Not one to take such matters lying down, Cooper hired a lawyer and sued Kelley, claiming that Kelley committed fraud and breached their contract to marry. Kelley fought back, claiming that though he did give Cooper a ring, he never actually used the words, “Will you marry me?” Kelley argued that he never initiated any conversations regarding marriage and was content to live together as boyfriend and girlfriend.

Utah Legislator Proposes Mandatory Course Before Filing For Divorce :: Charlotte Family Law Attorney

Published on: December 19, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

A legislator from Utah has proposed a new bill that would further stiffen already strict requirements for divorce in the state. The new measure would make it mandatory for couples seeking to divorce to complete a course about alternatives to divorce. Experts say the new legislation, if approved, would toughen what are already some of the strictest rules for divorce in the country.

Already Utah law says that parents must first take an hour-long class about the impact of divorce on children before their case can move forward. Also, Utah residents have to wait 90 days for legal separation to be finalized before filing for divorce. The 90-day wait is meant to provide cooling off time so couples have a chance to reconsider before a split.

Under the new proposal, the person filing for divorce would be forced to attend a class before the petition for divorce could be considered by a family court judge. The law applies to all those couples with a child under the age of 18. The rule would also mandate the other partner take the same class within 30 days of the divorce petition being filed.

The bill’s sponsor, Jim Nielson, says that victims of domestic violence would be exempted from taking the course, however, the exemption would only apply if proof could be offered demonstrating the abuse. That means that the victim would need to produce a protective order, a letter from a domestic violence shelter or a police report alleging violence. Without such evidence the victims would be required to sit through the mandatory counseling session.

Oklahoma Tries And Fails To Halt Rise In Divorce Rate :: Charlotte Mecklenburg Divorce Lawyer

Published on: December 17, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What does a “No-Fault’ divorce mean in NC?”

Many states have experimented with ways to shore up family units. Some have considered schemes to lengthen the amount of time couples must be separated before divorces will be approved by a judge. Others have mandated counseling sessions or parenting courses. In Oklahoma, the state did more than just pass laws; it spent more than $70 million trying to lower its divorce rate, something that appears to have done little or nothing to lower the rate.

New numbers released by the Census Bureau show that 13.5 percent of adults in Oklahoma filed for divorce in 2012, up from 11.6 percent in 2000. The rate is substantial and ranks Oklahoma’s among the highest divorce rates in the nation. The trouble is that this rate was reached despite nearly 14 years and $70 million spent by the government trying to fight divorce.

Back in 1999, Oklahoma created the Marriage Initiative, funded largely by federal welfare money. The organization offers counseling and workshops for couples in nearly every stage of a relationship, from those who are simply dating to those considering divorce. Estimates say that around 10 percent of the state’s adults have participated in workshops put on by the Marriage Initiative, something that appears to have done little to prevent the demise of relationships.

The results indicate that other states such as Texas, Georgia and even North Carolina where legislators are considering plans to make divorce more difficult to obtain should reconsider. These stalling techniques not only have not been shown to help, they might actually make things worse.

Ohio Couple Pleads Not Guilty To Misdemeanor Charges After Surrendering Adopted Son :: Mecklenburg County Charlotte Divorce Lawyer

Published on: December 12, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “What are my custody rights if the other parent moves?”

The Ohio couple that generated a lot of attention for giving up the 9-year-old adopted son they had raised since infancy is back in the news as court records reveal additional information about what took place prior to the child’s surrender.

Documents filed with the Butler County Common Pleas Court say that the mother, Lisa Cox, believed the boy was a genuine danger to the family’s safety and that she felt she had no choice but to surrender the child. Lisa and her husband, Cleveland Cox, both pled not guilty last week to misdemeanor charges of nonsupport of a dependent.

Prosecutors in Butler County who are handling the case say that Lisa and Cleveland left the boy with the county’s children’s services office after he began displaying aggressive behavior, including threatening family members with a knife. The boy was dropped off at the children’s services office with a bag containing some clothes and a handwritten letter from Lisa saying that she loved him and that he would never be forgotten.

Prosecutors say, shockingly, the boy did not know he was going to be given up, and that he was only told that he was going to a hospital where they would fix what was wrong with him. He did not realize that once he left he would never be returning home. Prosecutors say Lisa’s note included mention of how it broke her heart to hand him back to child welfare authorities and said she was praying that God would provide the boy the “perfect family” to show him love.

National experts on adoptions say that the case of the Cox family is a very unusual one given that the boy was adopted as an infant. Experts say that it is extremely rare in such cases for an adoption to fall apart. Instead, most cases of family discord occur when children are adopted at older ages and then try to assimilate into their new families.