Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog

Married women who become seriously ill are six-percent more likely to divorce

Published on: March 3, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m considering separating from my spouse; what actions should I refrain from doing?”

Until death do us part, in sickness and in health? As for sickness, not so much.

That is, at least, according to a new study spearheaded by Amelia Karraker, an assistant professor of human development and family studies at Iowa State University.

Her study—published in the most recent issue of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior—shows that married women who are diagnosed with a serious health condition are at greater odds of being divorced by or from their spouses than healthy married women.

Karraker and colleague Kenzie Latham studied marriage data from 1992 to 2010 compiled by the Health and Retirement Study at the University of Michigan. They looked at rates of cancer, heart disease, lung disease and stroke among married women during that timeframe.

Perjury in divorce case wins police chief a criminal conviction, costs him his job

Published on: February 26, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How can an attorney help me with my Divorce or Separation in North Carolina?”

In divorce court, as in any court, litigants must tell the truth. If they do not—aside from damaging their own case—they may face charges for perjury or contempt of court, and the fallout from telling untruths under oath may extend well beyond the courtroom, as a recent case involving a Louisiana police chief has underscored.

The chief in question is Lafayette, Louisiana Police Chief Kenny Vines. On January 20, Circuit Judge Ray Martin held Vines in contempt of court after determining that Vines had presented false documents to the court during his divorce case. Judge Martin fined Vines $100 and ordered him to serve a five-day jail sentence, although the jail sentence was suspended on the condition that Vines pay the fine.

The Fifth Circuit District Attorney’s office convened a grand jury to consider whether Vines should be charged with perjury in connection with false statements Vines made about the divorce documents while under oath. Last Friday, a Chambers County grand jury indicted Vines on perjury charges. As soon as Vines was informed of the indictment, he entered into a plea agreement with prosecutors.

According to a statement released on Monday by Fifth-Circuit prosecutors, Vines pled guilty to second-degree perjury and the perjury charge arose out of statements Vines had made to the Circuit Court while under oath. Vines was sentenced to six months in prison, but the sentence was suspended on the condition that he complete twelve months of probation.

Doctor divorce rates surprisingly low, but women doctors get raw deal, researchers say

Published on: February 24, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m considering separating from my spouse; what actions should I refrain from doing?”

What stands to reason does not always stand up to reality, and a new study from a team led by a doctor at Harvard Medical School is driving that point home.

Doctor Anupam Jena of Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School led a team that analyzed American Community Survey responses from 250,000 physicians, dentists, pharmacists and health-care executives, according to the Washington Post. The researchers also studied survey answers from 59,000 lawyers and 6.3 million non-health-care professionals. The study results were published last week in a journal titled The BMJ.

Dr. Jena said that going into the study, he encountered “this conception or notion that doctors are more likely to be divorced, not only more than other health-care professionals, but the population at large.” This conception or notion, the Post suggested, dovetailed with the perception that doctors work long hours, have demanding schedules, and operate in high-stress day-to-day work environments.

Those conditions sound like a recipe for high divorce rates.

Check in married, check out single at the Divorce Hotel

Published on: February 19, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What does uncontested divorce mean?”

When Fats Domino sings about finding his thrill on Blueberry Hill, you can almost hear in the mournful piano chords he plays that descend into the chorus that though his dream “came true” and though “the wind in the willow played love’s sweet melody,” the vows his lover made “were never to be.”

Those whose vows were not to be can climb a different kind of promontory, in Saratoga Springs, New York at the Gideon Putnam Resort, where the Dutch Company Divorce Hotel is offering couples weekend luxury packages that include a divorce.

Jim Halfens—Divorce Hotel’s founder—said the company deploys a team of professionals to settle out divorces during the three-day Divorce Hotel trips. He said couples typically split the cost of the stay, which runs anywhere from $3,500 to $10,000.

Halfens describes the process as “intense, a rollercoaster and a pressure cooker,” but in the end, he said, it saves couples a lot of drawn-out negativity. “When the weekend is over, both will sign the divorce agreement and everybody can go on with their lives,” Halfens said.

Of course, not all spouses will be able to resolve their differences at a one-weekend stay at the Divorce Hotel, and Halfens explained that at a minimum, spouses must “be able to wish each other a positive new future.”

Therapist lists Do’s and Don’ts for couples with children going through divorce

Published on: February 17, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What can I do to gain custody of my child in North Carolina?”

Finding advice on divorce is like finding advice on dieting or exercise: it is everywhere. Whether you through an expert’s “ten tips,” another expert’s “twenty rules,” or another expert’s one-hundred one-word divorce descriptors, both the divorce process and processing all the divorce advice one is bound to receive can prove taxing.

A west-Texas counselor and therapist has made it easy for those contemplating or going through divorce, publishing in the San Angelo Standard a list of “Do’s” and a list of “Don’ts” for those who desire as “mindful a transition as possible.”

The therapist—Adrianne Albarado Ortiz—focuses her practice on children, many of whom experience emotional trauma as a result of their parents’ divorce. As far as “Don’ts,” Ms. Ortiz encourages couples with children not to seek to sabotage their children’s relationship with their spouse or exes by using malicious words against the other parent. Ms. Ortiz said this could actually backfire “and cause the child to generate resentment” towards the parent who is seeking to undermine the other parent.

The focus throughout a divorce process, Ortiz said, should be on the well-being of children involved. That means parents should never use their children as pawns to seek to gain the upper hand in divorce disputes. Ortiz said divorcing parents should never seek to obtain information from children about the other parent, and should not ask their children to choose sides when it comes to scheduling conflicts.

Attorney says divorce court may be the worst place to look for Lady Justice

Published on: February 12, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m considering separating from my spouse; what actions should I refrain from doing?”

A spouse’s cruel words and outrageous treatment drove you to a divorce attorney in the first place, but now the divorce attorney is telling you the cruel treatment no more matters to your case than whether you broke your leg skiing or broke it getting hit by a car.

The point is, the leg is broken.

In medicine, of course, the answer is the fix the leg. In the world of marriages, a common answer to a couple’s problems—the opposite of fixing it—is to get a divorce. Many couples who arrive at this point turn to the legal system to find something they never experienced in their marriage: justice.

A family law attorney writing for the Buffalo Law Journal has a warning for justice seekers: In the family law courts, it’s business, not personal.

Family law attorney Steven Wiseman says courts use guidelines to render decisions on matters like child support and spousal maintenance. Courts have some discretion to deviate from these guidelines, but the fact that a spouse may have been “a lying, cheating, son of a you-know-what” is simply not relevant.

Soon-to-be divorced, divorcing or recently divorced? Beware the tax man!

Published on: February 10, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How long does getting a divorce take?”

That special time of year is looming—April 15. That is not the date on which Santa Claus comes tumbling down the chimney with a slew of nice gifts to leave under the tree. Quite the opposite: April 15 is the date every year on which Americans pay their dues to Uncle Sam and to their respective state governments.

Not all state governments impose an income tax, but this state (North Carolina) does, and the federal government expects its dues. Aside from whatever complications one has experienced in the past with figuring and paying taxes, if one has recently divorced, one should beware, because new complications may be aplenty.

Even if one has not yet divorced but is engaged in the divorce process, tax time could prove especially troublesome. What, for instance, is one’s filing status? Is one married and filing jointly or married and filing separately? And, importantly, who is the Head of Household for tax purposes?

Unfortunately, answering these queries may require not only conversation with—but also the cooperation of—one’s ex or soon-to-be ex. This could prove vexing, and especially so if the ugliness if a divorce proceeding is looming over the erstwhile tedious task of preparing taxes.

Three-parent babies could alter humanity, child custody

Published on: February 5, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What can I do to gain custody of my child in North Carolina?”

Custody battles of the future may involve battles between litigants that are—in all our legal history—utterly foreign. That is because, for the first time in recorded history, scientists are on the verge of creating three-parent babies.

Once that formerly inconceivable reality comes to term, if one (plus one, plus one) wills it, the normal progress and processes of life will follow, and those will inevitably include family units splitting up and launching battles for custody of a child or children.

Except then it will be three (or more) parents fighting for custody, instead of two. That means—potentially—three lawyers or more… ugh.

So far, scientific experimentation with three-parent babies has been limited to animals. Last week, however, the British House of Commons voted to allow the licensing of facilities in the United Kingdom that may allow genetic modification of human embryos.

Parties in custody battles should think hard before seeking to offer child testimony

Published on: February 3, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What can I do to gain custody of my child in North Carolina?”

In North Carolina, the ultimate arbiter of custody is the District Court judge. The District Court judge is vested, by statute, with the authority to determine who should have custody of a child and the terms under which custody shall be exercised.

Of course, the decisions of a District Court judge are subject to appeal, but when parties do appeal a District Court decision and one of the state courts of appeal decides to entertain the appeal, those courts frequently uphold the decisions of District Courts, and if they do not, many times they simply clarify the manner in which a judge should have considered the case and send it right back to the District Court to consider the case anew.

A party’s presentation regarding custody is made in District Court, and the person a party needs to convince is the District Court judge. Many parties believe a good way of convincing a District Court judge that they should have custody of a child is to have the child testify before the court. After all, who better knows what is in one’s best interest than oneself?

The problem with that ideas is that minor children are considered “infants” or “incompetents” under North Carolina law. Minor children do not have the capacity, for instance, to enter into contracts. A court will not take a proposal to allow a minor child to testify lightly. A judge will likely conduct a hearing to consider whether testimony would be appropriate in a particular case, and if so, what measures or protections may be afforded to the child while testifying.

Divorce mediator shares what she wishes she had known before her own divorce

Published on: January 29, 2015 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m considering separating from my spouse; what actions should I refrain from doing?”

A longtime divorce mediator thought she was as prepared as anyone could be when the storms that brought on her own divorce rolled in. Now the mediator—Nicole Feuer—is urging couples who are contemplating divorce to think hard about issues the divorce solution will not resolve and the pains that the divorce process may inflict.

A spouse may be so far beyond that proverbial third strike that one could not imagine ever patching things up. One may even feel indifferent regarding whether one ever has to interact with a spouse again. Maybe one would be happier if one never saw one’s spouse again.

If one has children, however, one may be forced to deal with one’s ex spouse. Feuer reminds those considering divorce that the bad behaviors that drove one to divorce an ex do not disappear just because of the divorce. In fact, an ex spouse may be more prone to seek to push one’s buttons after a divorce than beforehand or during the divorce process.

What can one do? Feuer encourages divorcees to “let it go and not let it get to [one] anymore.” That may be easier said than done, Feuer says, but holding on to anger towards an ex spouse can damage a person emotionally, spiritually and even physically. One cannot change who an ex spouse is, how someone behaves or what someone has said or done. One can, however, learn to let go of the past and move beyond one’s anger. In fact, Feuer says, one must move beyond one’s anger to enjoy the fruits of a post-divorce life.