Post Separation Support

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: Can your spouse prevent you from divorcing in North Carolina?

Published on: October 25, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Thankfully, many divorcing couples are on the same page about wanting to get a divorce. The fights or problems communicating have been obvious to both parties for a while and the decision to divorce was a long time coming. However, there are times when the parties aren’t in such perfect agreement.

Sometimes one spouse wants the divorce and the other spouse does not, other times one spouse is caught by surprise, unaware that there were ever any issues. In these situations, the spouse who does not want the divorce may stall or refuse to do anything to keep the divorce moving toward a resolution. This can be extremely frustrating for the person seeking the divorce because it means more time and money spent on the process.

In all North Carolina divorces, the first step after filing the Complaint for Absolute Divorce is that the respondent must be formally served with a copy of the Complaint. In many amicable divorces, the person who files the Complaint (petitioner) can simply give their spouse (the respondent) a copy as an alternative to being personally served with the divorce papers by a sheriff or private process server.

If the respondent refuses to cooperate, however, he or she will have to be personally served. If the respondent goes out of their way to evade service, the petitioner will likely have to use a private process server, who will request additional information about the respondent’s schedule and whereabouts before tracking them down. This option is more expensive than having the sheriff do the service, but has a better chance of success.

If your spouse desperately does not want the divorce they may refuse to attend mediation sessions or a settlement conference. If that’s the case, the petitioner will have to request a final hearing to obtain a Final Decree of Divorce. As long as the respondent is properly notified of the hearing date, the court can grant the divorce, even if the respondent chooses not to attend.

Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina :: What NOT to do During Your Divorce

Published on: October 9, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As discussed in a recent article on PsychologyToday.com, there are several things you should NOT do during your divorce. As many people know, divorcing can be a stressful and exhausting experience. However, there are actions that can and should be taken to make the process easier and there are also things that can be avoided to ensure you don’t make a bad situation even worse.

The following are some of the things (though there are many, many more) that you should avoid doing in the interest of having a more peaceful divorce.

1) Don’t Lie To The Judge: Though this seems to go without saying, always tell the truth. Whether you’re testifying in court or in a deposition, credibility is key. If people start to doubt you then things go end up very badly. Make sure to confide in your attorney if there is a certain subject you want to avoid discussing, but outright lying is never a good plan.

2) Don’t Lie to Your Attorney: Your lawyer can’t help you if they don’t know all the facts. You should be honest with your attorney so they can accurately analyze your case for strengths and weaknesses. All the facts are important and your attorney needs to know everything to help you get the best possible outcome.

3) Don’t Take Legal Advice From Friends and/or Family: It’s important to remember that just because someone gives you advice, it doesn’t mean they are correct. The law varies wildly based on specific circumstances of your case so a friend or family that went through a divorce may have had an entirely different experience than you. Listen to your attorney and ask questions as they arise. It’s wise to avoid talking about specifics of your case with friends and family.

4) Don’t Hide Property: Hiding property to avoid equitable division in a divorce is quite simply a terrible idea. If you do so and it’s discovered then you will lose all credibility in front of the judge and the other side, likely making your situation much, much worse.

Can Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte Consider VA Disability Benefits in Alimony Cases?

Published on: June 7, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A disabled veteran has filed a petition before the U.S. Supreme Court asking the justices to decide whether states can instruct divorce courts to count a veteran’s disability benefits when determining spousal support. Peter James Barclay, an Air Force veteran, also asked the Court to determine whether federal law prevents states from considering VA disability benefits communal property to be divided like other joint marital assets.

When Barclay divorced his wife in 2010 the divorce court judge considered the value of his VA benefits when awarding his wife $1,000 per month in alimony. His only income at the time was the $4,400 per month he received from the VA and Social Security. Barclay remains on disability due to post-traumatic stress related to his job as first responder to the 1995 Oklahoma City bombings. He witnessed the full horror of the attack, having to cart away dead and wounded. As a result, he’s unemployable and able to draw federal benefits.

His attorney is now attempting to have the United States Supreme Court decide whether Title 38 U.S. Code, Section 5301(a), which says that VA disability benefits are immune from “taxation”, claims of creditors, attachment, levy and seizure,” doesn’t also prevent them from being included in alimony calculations.

Barclay’s attorney readily admits that most states follow the example set by the divorce court judge in his case. This is based on the Supreme Court’s Rose decision which says that VA benefits are payments intended to compensate both the veteran and his family. Barclay disagrees; in his petition he claims that his disability pay is meant to compensate him for his loss of income. Barclay makes the reasonable point that if a veteran has a spouse the VA compensation tables award a higher disability payment and if the veteran gets divorced the extra payment stops. This mean the spouse should not be able to claim the base amount which remains unchanged regardless of marital status.

Barclay’s attorney also points out that Arizona recently passed a law shielding veterans’ disability benefits from alimony calculations. His petition mentions the two other states – Texas and Vermont – where VA disability benefits paid in lieu of retirement are not subject to division as property or to alimony calculations.

Charlotte Divorce Tips – Protecting Finances

Published on: May 17, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

When North Carolina couples are confronted with the possibility of divorce once the emotional pain subsides, many begin to think about their financial wellbeing. There are some things you can do to help ensure that your assets are protected as divorce looms. Lynette Khalfani-Cox, a financial expert with AARP, gives the following suggestions:

Get the right family law attorney. Going through the phone book or randomly calling numbers will cast too wide of a net. Referrals from friends and family members are a good place to start and, given the high divorce rate, it’s likely you’ll know someone who’s been through the process.

Once you’ve reached out to an attorney it’s a good idea to have an in person meeting. Meet with them to make sure everything feels right; that they understand your particular needs and concerns and are skilled enough to do the work you need accomplished. If you trust them then listen to your instincts, if you get a bad vibe then it’s time to move on.

Don’t rely on mediation. Ms. Khalfani-Cox says that mediation is a good first step but that it should only be considered early on, to help get a feel for the tenor of the divorce. Making nice is what many women are prone to try to do and mediating your way out may not be the best way to protect your interests. A mediator’s job is to reach a resolution, not necessarily one that’s right for you.

Khalfani-Cox says the agreed upon settlement can be very one-sided and the mediator may not intervene. Only a good attorney can help tell you what’s reasonable and customary and what to realistically expect.

Set up separate accounts. One of the first things on the agenda should be shutting down the credit cards. No one needs to worry about one party going on a shopping spree and leaving the other with a hefty bill to pay.

Mortgages can’t be simply split up, there’s a process that must be gone through. Bank accounts can and should be divided right away. Also don’t forget that both parties are liable for credit card debt if they signed for the card, regardless of what agreement you have with your ex. If you were on the card and your ex doesn’t pay the company will come knocking on your door.
Know your assets and debts. Sit down and make sure you understand where you’re at financially. Calculate assets and debts. Take special attention when going through retirement accounts, pension, deferred compensation plans, etc. Things can get confusing and you’ll want to make sure nothing is missed. Information is power and you don’t want to be the party unaware of what assets are up for grabs when settlement time rolls around.

Pretext to a North Carolina Divorce or Just a Fight?

Published on: March 20, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, as couples deal with the difficulties inherent in every relationship it is sometimes hard to know when a fight is just a fight or the beginning of the end.
According to research from the Gottman Institute, couples typically wait an average six years in a less-than-happy marriage before seeking help. Deciding whether and when to call it quits is an obviously difficult and sad process.

A new type of therapy, called “discernment counseling,” offers a new approach. Discernment counseling, pioneered by Bill Doherty, a professor in the family social science department at the University of Minnesota, sets out to help couples decide whether to divorce or remain married. Doherty thought up the idea after a local family court judge mentioned that he was surprised by the number of people divorcing that seemed to get along so well that he was confused why they were splitting up.

In a recent study of divorcing couples published in the Family Court Review, the results showed that about 30% of individuals who were divorcing said they would seriously consider a reconciliation service if it was offered by the court. Further exploration of the numbers showed that after comparing responses of both spouses, about 10% of couples had both partners interested in reconciliation.
Doherty has decided that in 30% of couples headed for divorce one spouse is what is described as “leaning out,” or wanting to go, while the other is “leaning in,” or wanting to stay. In discernment counseling, he helps the leaning-out spouse decide if leaving is the best answer and helps the leaning-in spouse cope with the final decision without worsening the situation. After working through their issues, he lays out three alternatives: marriage as it has been, divorce, or a six-month reconciliation with marriage therapy. Of the 25 couples that have gone through the process 40% decided to try the reconciliation.

Benefits of Pre-Nupts in North Carolina

Published on: February 16, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Asking for a prenuptial agreement may not be the most romantic thing, especially with Valentine’s Day just behind us. That might not be true according to some experts who suggest that sitting down with a soon-to-be spouse and making arrangements for the worst might do a lot to alleviate worries going into marriage.

According to a recent article on Yahoo.com, everyone could benefit from a prenupt, even if you’re not going into marriage wealthy. One divorce attorney pointed out that “You might accumulate assets during the marriage, and even a young couple embarking on their own careers wants to make sure that what they acquire during marriage isn’t just left up to a judge to divide.”

Trying to predict how a court will divide assets is all but impossible and the certainty that a prenup offers is one of its best features. No two divorces are alike and judges might make choices with your assets that you weren’t prepared for. Student loan debts, often viewed as personal might actually be made marital burdens and split between the parties under certain circumstances. By drafting a clear plan outlining how your debts and assets will be divided in the event of divorce couples can shield themselves from some of the uncertainty of a litigious divorce.

The following are a list of four reasons you should consider creating a prenup:

1. Talking about potential problems can shed light on the status of your relationship today.

Many couples today enter marriages on an equal footing. Life and families can change the financial picture with one person staying at home and another continuing in their career. When you ask about the possibility of alimony in the event of divorce many couples are surprised to hear the response of their significant other and shocked that it might not be what they thought. If your husband balks at the idea of paying support then that can play a role in deciding whether or not you’ll continue to work.

2. You can create a post-nup.

While post-nuptial agreements are tricky and can be more difficult to enforce, they can be created if each party brings something to the table. A post-nupt might make sense for instance if one spouse decides to stay home and wants to protect themselves financially.

3. Prenupts cost half as much as the average engagement ring.

A typical prenupt costs around $2,500, close to what it costs to have a lawyer create an estate plan. Do-it-yourself forms from websites (LegalZoom.com) can sometimes be tossed out of due to legal requirements not being met and are not a viable alternative. The average engagement ring costs about $5,200 according to The Knot, putting the cost of a prenup into perspective.

Women in North Carolina often end up without Health Insurance after Divorce

Published on: February 7, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

New research from the University of Michigan shows that women are more likely than men to wind up without health insurance following a divorce. The rates of women without insurance remain high even several years after a divorce becomes final.

The new study shows that many women lose their health insurance and struggle regaining it after divorce. Using 11 years of Census data, study author Bridget Lavelle looked at health insurance levels of women before and after divorce. She found that nearly 16% of women lose health insurance within six months of divorce and go without it for at least two years.

Lavelle, a Ph.D. student at the University of Michigan’s Gerald R. Ford School of Public Policy, said that the women with the highest risk of losing coverage are those who were covered under a husband’s plan prior to the divorce. Of that group, the rate rises to nearly 1 out of every 4 that will become uninsured following separation.

Going along with the loss in insurance, research indicates that after a divorce many women suffer a substantial decline in overall economic well-being. This general decline makes it harder for women to afford health insurance, even if they were not original included under their husband’s plan.

Lavelle’s study did not look at the situation for men, but previous research, she said, shows that men do not suffer the decline in economic well-being to the same extent that women do. “Men are also less likely than women to be insured through a spouse’s insurance,” she said. “For both of these reasons, the risk of insurance loss is probably substantially less for men.”

Unhappy Groom Demands New Wedding

Published on: January 19, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In an rare case of a “Groomzilla”, the Associated Press reports that a recently divorced man is now demanding that a photography studio pay to recreate his wedding to make up for what he has decided are flawed pictures and videos of what was supposed to be his happiest day. Though many in the press have dubbed Todd Remis a “groomzilla,” he recently spoke out saying that his lawsuit is actually about holding a business to their promise, not clinging to a broken marriage.

While suits over wedding photographs are common occurrences, Remis’ case contained an unusual spin: a demand that the company recreate the ceremony of his now failed marriage. Remis began divorce proceedings in 2008 and the couple officially split in 2010.

Despite the marriage no longer existing, Remis says that he needs the “wedding recreated exactly as it was so that the remaining 15 percent of the wedding that was not shot can be shot” and the album and video completed “so we have memories of the wedding.” In order to capture this missing footage Remis acknowledges that “we would need to recreate everything.”

Remis began his lawsuit against H&H Photographers in 2009, saying the well-respected New York City-area studio had done a terrible job of shooting his and Milena Grzibovska’s December 2003 wedding. Remis claimed that the chosen photographer ignored the couple’s request not to shoot in front of a mirror that ended up reflecting photographers’ lights. Moreover, the photographer and videographer left 45 minutes before the end of the reception, missing the last dance and the bouquet toss, evidently crucial events in Remis’ mind.

The couple paid a $3,500 advance toward a $4,100 total price for the photos and videos, part of a wedding Remis has said cost more than $48,000. For their part, H&H co-owner Daniel Fried says he stands by the photographs and videos. “I think the photography is lovely,”

Post Separation Support and Child Support Case Appealed

Published on: August 15, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In the case of Davis vs. Davis, Husband appealed an order which addressed the family financial matters (child support and post separation support). He challenged the trial Court’s ruling by contending that the Court had made inconsistent findings of fact about his income and that the findings of fact did not support the award. In short, the trial Court found as fact that Husband’s business grossed $11,000 per month, that Husband testified that the business was suffering from financial difficulty, that Husband had the ability to pay Wife $4,130 per month in post separation support, and that Husband’s child support obligation was $1,490 per month.

Divorce Financial Tips

Published on: May 19, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog will review five tips from a recent article on Yahoo.com entitled Getting a Divorce? 5 Ways to Ensure It’s Not a Financial Disaster. While mostly common sense, these tips can provide a good start for a discussion with your spouse and your lawyer about how to avoid the financial ruin which can result from a divorce.