Divorce

Divorce Financial Tips (1 of 5)

Published on: May 23, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As discussed previously in Divorce Financial Tips on Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog, there are strategies which can help to avoid the financial disaster which is so common in divorce cases.

The first such strategy which is discussed in the article on Yahoo.com is to make a realistic budget and figure out how your standard of living is going to change as a result of the separation and divorce. While it seems to be common sense that two people cannot live separately as economically as they can live together, North Carolina law says that both spouses have the right to continue to live at the same standard of living to which they became accustomed during the marriage. You may wonder: “how does that work?”

Lawyer wants Divorce Settlement Re-Do

Published on: May 16, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to an article on Yahoo.com (Citing Madoff fraud, lawyer wants divorce deal do-over), a prominant real estate lawyer in New York has sued his ex-wife to reopen their divorce settlement. As crazy as this may seem, there is actually a well established legal concept called “mutal mistake” which may allow for the contract to be set aside. The concept of “mutual mistake” allows for a contract to be set aside when there is a mutual mistake as to some important fact or provision. This means that both sides have to have the same misunderstanding.

Substance Abuse and Family Law (4 of 4)

Published on: April 15, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

16. Pain that Never Ends
Prescription drug addiction is one of the most common kinds of addiction. Abusers learn many different tricks for getting their pills. Back pain is one of the most common symptoms used to get pain medications because it is nondescript and hard to prove. It is also fairly easy to fake. If a young, healthy person claims to be suffering from chronic back pain and asks for narcotic pain medications, watch closely. Another tactic is going to more than one doctor and getting prescriptions for the same kinds of drugs. If a person says they cannot take NSAIDS, that is a red flag because the only thing left is a narcotic painkiller.

17. Sickness without a Cause
When people are abusing alcohol or drugs, they tend not to feel well much of the time. So, frequent vague illnesses can be a sign that something is wrong. They may also be using sickness as a reason to skip work. There are usually many different explanations which are difficult to prove or disprove. Also, low energy, fatigue and depression that all comes on suddenly without reason may be caused by withdrawal from the drug. Withdrawal sympoms can also be accompanied by irritability and flashes of anger.

18. Paranoia and Panic Attacks
Paranoia attacks are a well-known problem for anyone who has smoked pot. They are also a common side effect of many other drugs and alcohol. Stimulants can also cause panic attacks. These problems are often temporary, but the drugs or alcohol can actually change a person’s personality. Cocaine, in particular, alters the brain and can cause a variety of psychological problems, including paranoia. Drug or alcohol abusers may develop social anxiety, feel nervous and anxious in public situations and avoid them whenever possible.

Substance Abuse and Family Law (3 of 4)

Published on: April 12, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

11. Can I Try the Diet You’re On?

Many drugs like crystal meth, cocain and other “uppers” stimulate energy so much that the user feels no urge to eat. Many have no appetite whatsoever. Obviously, these people are prone to rapid weight loss. Often this sign of abuse is missed because it is sometimes seen as nothing to worry about. Weight loss is typically seen as a good thing and it is often overlooked as a symptom of drug abuse.

12. Squeaky Clean
Overuse of certain hygene products can be a signal that the person is trying to hide something. Overuse of gum or breath mints might show that someone is trying to mask the smell of alcohol. Ditto for excessive use of mouthwash or hand sanitizer gel. Dryer sheets can be used to disguise the smell of smoke. A bottle of eyedrops can be a sure fire sign that someone is trying to hide reddened eyes.

13. The Bathroom Game
The bathroom is the most obvious place to find prescription drugs. Sometimes people who abuse prescription drugs are so desperate that they cannot resist the temptation to scrounge them in other people’s houses. They often do this under the pretense of visiting thh bathroom. Sometimes the person takes too long in the bathroom or finds a reason to visit each of the bathrooms in a newly visited house.

Substance Abuse and Family Law (2 of 4)

Published on: April 7, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

6. The Money Magnet
Substance abuse is an expensive habit and drugs and alcohol cost money. This, combined with impaired judgment may lead many people to get into financial trouble by not paying attention to their affairs. Any kind of unusual money behavior can tip off families to drug or alcohol abuse. Bills might not be paid or the adict might start selling possessions on eBay. Coke and speed can send people into manic spending sprees while alcohol can spur gambling binges. Also, the person may ask family members for loans or use their credit card without asking.

7. The Clear Choice
Many alcoholics prefer vodka as their drink of choice because it is clear, looks like water and does not typically have a noticable odor. A dead give away is when a person puts vodka in their thermos and mixes it with their morning coffee. Pay attention if the person goes from their normal drink of choice to vodka or if you taste their drink it and is spiked. Watch grocery receipts too, are they buying large amounts of vodka?

8. Missing in Action
If the person is missing important events like high school graduation or a birthday party, the person may be displaying signs of addiction. Becoming secretive and unreliable is a trademark of addiction. They start to forget appointments, miss important events or come in late to work or school. Maintaining and hiding an addiction takes time and effort. The person may stop by the bar on the way home, then get coffee to sober up. Sneaking around the house is also a tip-off, like sneaking into the bathroom for Visine and to brush their teeth before talking to anyone.

Substance Abuse and Family Law (1 of 4)

Published on: April 5, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

In the series that follows, Charlotte Divorce Lawyer Blog will explore twenty signs from an article on Yahoo.com which may indicate that a person has a substance abuse problem. Substance abuse is a very common issue in divorce and other family law matters, so we think it is useful to be aware of common signs.

1. Quality Control
Over time, a substance abuser is very likely to build a tolerance to whatever substance they are abusing. Over time, you may notice that the person fills his glass more often than others. Similarly, prescription drug users will start going through their prescription faster and faster. Prescription drug abusers will often complain that they “ran out” or that “the doctor forgot to renew my prescription.” Sometimes the person won’t remember taking all of their pills and will acuse others of stealing them.

2. Hide and Seek Around the House
Often times a substance abuser will hide bottles around the house. They may hide a six pack in the garage or a bottle of liquor hidden behind the cleaning products. These might be signs that someone’s drinking has gotten out of control. Over time, they will develop a network of hiding places. They may become particularly protective of certain rooms or areas of the house or garage, insisting that they be kept private. There may a sense that they are guarding the alcohol itself.

3. The Disappearing Act
When it comes to drug addiction, it is often that items around the house start disappearing. Like checks are missing from the checkbook, sometimes taken from the middle of the checkbook rather than the back of it. The need for money and the desire for the substance make anything fair game. They might start pawning family items like cameras and jewelry or family heirlooms.

How Birth Order Affects Your Love Life

Published on: April 1, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to an article by Yahoo and Match.com, your birth order can have a significant impact on your love life. If you are the oldest child, you are a take-charge type of person and this trait carries over to your love life. Oldest kids are the planners and they are going to do the big sha-bang on anniversaries and Valentine’s Day. Their biggest love challenge is being more spontaneous. They aren’t the “seize the day” types and they hate surprises. Their best match is with a youngest child.

Rather than being insecure messes (a commonly held belief), middle kids are actually stable and loyal partners. Growing up feeling like they get less attention drives them to work for every perk. They tend to be good compromisers and negotiators. They are good at giving their partner plenty of input on decisions and their days should be free of petty squables.

Men Cheat Because they Want to Play the Field (Reason #4)

Published on: March 10, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

This one will come as a complete shocker: according to this article by Match.com men cheat because they want to play the field! This seems to be a result of “the grass is always greener” kind of thinking which seems prevalent in our society. Maybe it is because of pop culter, television, or the egocentric, live for the moment type of mentality which seems so prevalent in our society.

Men Cheat Because You are Spending Almost No Time Together (Reason #3)

Published on: March 8, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to this article on Yahoo.com by Match.com, another reason men cheat is because you are spending almost no time together as a couple. A common example of this sort of situation is where the significant other travels for a living. If the person is physically absent from the daily life of their significant other, then it can be difficult for the couple to remain emotionally engaged with one another.

Men Cheat Because the Chemistry Just Isn’t There (Reason #2)

Published on: March 4, 2011 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to the article by Match.com on Yahoo.com, men cheat because the chemistry just isn’t there. They cheat because the spark is gone in the relationship. According to the article, this can have much to do with a lack of physical attraction to the other person. For example, if the wife or girlfriend (hopefully only a girlfriend!) isn’t the guy’s type, it could lead to the guy losing interest and possibly cheating.