Articles Posted in Divorce

Divorce Attorneys in Charlotte, NC.jpgDivorce is a hard enough process for anyone to go through and there are lots of complicated financial decisions that must be made. The money worries can multiply for small business owners who have the added concern of how the divorce will affect their livelihood and even employees.

First things first, your business will likely need to be valued in connection with the distribution of marital assets. This will mean a financial expert may need to go over the records of the company and ask questions about expenses and revenue streams. You’ll need to produce extensive documents to verify the numbers in this process. Sometimes valuations, especially complicated ones, can be expensive. Many times each party insists on having their own expert look at the books. The process can be time consuming and can serve as a distraction for employees who must spend time gathering documents.

Though the worst-case scenario in many business owners’ minds is that the company will have to be sold to pay the spouse his or her share of the marital assets, there are ways to minimize the impact of divorce on a small business.

1. First, hire a good attorney. An experienced Charlotte divorce attorney will know what to do to reduce the impact of the messy divorce process on the continued operations of your business.

2. If you have a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that could come in very handy. Such agreements can predetermine the amount of assets that will be distributed in a divorce and can thus protect a business from being broken up.

3. If you have partners, take a look at your partnership agreement and see if it addresses a way of buying out or valuing a share of the company if divorce is filed against one of the owners. While this may not control what a family court judge does, it can show that there was an intent to minimize business disruption which the court will likely respect.

4. If you aren’t lucky enough to have either of the two above agreements, consider hiring a joint financial expert to value the business which will save both time and money. The process will move more quickly if the two of you can agree on one neutral party to conduct the examination.

5. All involved parties, including attorneys and experts, can sign a confidentiality agreement to protect any sensitive information that is uncovered while examining the business’ books such as trade secrets or other proprietary information.

6. Finally, to minimize the risk of a sale of the company, you can attempt to structure the settlement with periodic payments to your spouse rather than a lump sum.

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Divorce Law Firms in Charlotte, NC.jpgIt’s hard to believe that school is about to begin in Charlotte. The start of school also means the start of after school and weekend activities. This time of year can be particularly stressful for parents who are going through, or have recently gone through, a divorce, as the family adjusts to visitation with the kids’ new, and likely busier, schedules.

Getting a child back to school is hard enough, but if you are co-parenting with your ex for the first time it can be even harder. Here are some tips from the Huffington Post for how to make navigating back to school more comfortable for both parents and, more importantly, the child.

1) The all-important backpack – If it is the first year the child is going through a co-parenting situation they may feel like they don’t have their own space. Moving from one house to another can leave them feeling insecure. Their backpack can be the one place that is theirs. Help them customize it, and assure them no matter where they go they can have it with them and whatever they chose to keep inside. This will offer some security and consistency in a changed setting.

2) Encourage your kids to keep it simple – Your child may not know how to explain their new situation to their friends. They may not feel it’s “normal” and they may have some degree of anxiety when families are brought up. Sit down and talk to your child, encourage them to keep it simple when explaining things to their friends and that it’s okay that they live with mom some days and dad others.

3) Be involved with homework – Helping your children with homework is a great opportunity for a parent. It can help you bond, and give you an opportunity to teach lessons beyond spelling. Even if you are the non-custodial parent try to see if there’s a way to stay involved in your children’s schoolwork and ask them if there is anything you can help them with when you are able.

4) Communicate directly with your ex – Do not use your child as a messenger to your former spouse. Not only can kids forget important details that may not be of interest to them, but it also puts them in an odd situation. E-mail can be a great medium for this, it avoids awkward phone calls, gives you time to edit yourself and provides a written record that no one can later claim that they didn’t know.

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Charlotte Divorce Attorneys.jpgThere are only two grounds for divorce in North Carolina. They are discussed in North Carolina General Statute § 50-6. The state has only two grounds for divorce: 1) Separation for One Year; or 2) Incurable Insanity of One Spouse and Separation for Three Years. In North Carolina, the vast majority of marriages end due to the first basis: separation for one year.

Many states, including North Carolina, require a “cooling-off” period of separation for a specific length of time before no-fault divorce proceedings can take place. During this time, the couple is required to live apart from one another with the intent that the separation will become permanent. In North Carolina, after the couple has lived apart for the required year, the divorce is typically granted about 60 days after filing, and the decree is made final immediately.

Under state law, the one-year separation does not have to be according to mutual agreement; only one spouse is required to have the intent to stop cohabitating with the other. Under present law, isolated incidents of sexual intercourse do not stop the statutory one-year period from running, provided such incidents do not amount to a “resumption of marital relations.” The only proof required of this separation is the testimony of the plaintiff; no written statements or affidavits are necessary. As is the case with both grounds for divorce, one of you must have been a resident of North Carolina for at least six months.
The other way to get a divorce in North Carolina is to meet the grounds of incurable insanity. To do this, the spouses are required to have lived apart for three years or more because of the condition of insanity. The condition of insanity must be proven by the testimony of medical or psychiatric experts. Given the work required to prove the condition, the insanity basis as grounds for divorce is not used very often.

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Military Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, NC.jpgDeciding how to split up a couple’s accumulated assets is a challenging but necessary task before any divorce can be finalized. This already tough job can be made even more complicated if one or both spouses is an active duty or retired member of the military. In such situations, one of the couple’s biggest assets is almost always the military spouse’s pension. This pension, and all the rules that come along with it, make military divorces generally more complex than those of nonmilitary families.

Military pensions are often worth significant amounts of money and, as an added bonus, are guaranteed for the rest of the military spouse’s life. The Wall Street Journal says that a lieutenant colonel in the Air Force who has put in 30 years of service will receive a pension worth $72,288 a year. The pensions are not paid in lump sums, but if they were, the present value of the pension would easily exceed $1 million. What makes this even more valuable is that there is no minimum retirement age. It’s in the realm of possibility that someone who enlisted at 18 could retire at 38 and go on to receive a pension, including yearly cost of living increases, for decades into the future.

The state in which a spouse files the divorce petition can be one challenging aspect of the division of a military retirement pension. This can be tricky because, while a service member may be stationed at a base in North Carolina, they may have a permanent residence in another state. It’s also possible that an estranged nonmilitary spouse or ex-spouse could reside in yet another third state. Depending on the state, the nonmilitary spouse could lose out on the retirement benefits if certain forms are not filled out correctly.

The length of the marriage is another factor that can contribute to the difficulty of dividing up the military retirement pension. When the marriage overlaps the military spouse’s service period by 10 or more years, the nonmilitary spouse will receive benefit payments directly from the government. If the marriage lasted fewer than 10 years of the service period, then the government will not enforce a court order from the nonmilitary spouse for a share of the retirement pension. In such cases, if the military spouse does not agree to provide a share of the retirement benefits directly to the nonmilitary spouse, then the matter will have to be settled in a divorce court in the appropriate state.

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Family Law Firms in Charlotte, NC.jpgA reality that many families are only beginning to face is the effect that divorce can have later in life on caregiving, especially for adult children and stepchildren. Taking care of older parents is hard enough; the only thing harder is having multiple sets of parents to watch after. This difficulty is compounded by the impact of a chorus of people seeking to give their two cents, including spouses, siblings, stepchildren, half siblings, and stepsiblings.

Beyond the problems faced by those who are the children of divorce, worries loom for middle-aged people in the midst of a divorce. They too will require help in the future and the question of who will be around to do it is on lots of people’s minds. The problem isn’t a small one as data indicates that today one out of every three baby boomers is single, many due to divorce.

As we discussed last week (“Gray Divorces” Present Unique Challenges), the “gray divorce” trend is on the rise. They will all need help but who is going to step in? It’s common knowledge (and backed up by studies) that women tend to have stronger support systems in place than men. This means that women will likely be more secure in their old age with a larger network of people ready to care for them. Sociologists and others worry about how men, in particular, will survive without a wife around to help out in their old age.

One sociologist pointed out that because women more often keep the kids following a divorce (especially thirty years ago, the peak time for divorce for those entering old age today) the children may have bonded more with mom than with dad. Absent fathers may not have any children standing by to take responsibility if something happens.

Other problems facing older divorcees include the impact of stepchildren. Will stepchildren feel much allegiance to supporting their parent’s former spouse, one with whom they share no DNA? How about when parents remarry with adult children, some of whom have families of their own? Will those kids feel any kinship with the new step mom or dad and thus feel compelled to sacrifice for their care?

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Divorce Law Firm in Charlotte North Carolina.jpgWe’ve said it before, but the trend known as “gray divorce” appears to be picking up steam. The numbers of senior divorces in the country continue to grow and with the baby boomers aging the amount will likely rise even faster.

Susan L. Brown and I-Fen Lin at Bowling Green State University’s National Center for Family & Marriage Research Center conducted research that indicated the divorce rate among those over 50 years old had doubled between 1990 and 2009. This shocking figure was true even for those over the age of 65 showing it is not a phenomenon limited to divorce-prone boomers.

These same researches are predicting that the trend will only continue to escalate. The reason is that those who have already been through one marriage and are now remarried are more than 2.5 times more likely to divorce again than those who are still on their first marriage.

The reasons for the trend are hard to nail down and include everything from the larger number of older people, the age those people are living to, a greater acceptance of divorce, rising female empowerment and an increased emphasis on living a happy life.

Regardless of the cause, the trend has important financial implications for those going through a late in life divorce. The first thing to understand is that single life can be expensive. It’s not a simple matter of splitting all the bills in half. There’s a magnification to dividing bills and separate households are much more expensive to run than half of a marital household.

Beyond living expenses are the ordinary legal expenses associated with divorce. New legal documents will need to be drafted, often more than if you had divorced at a younger age. Wills will need to be redone, health directives, insurance polices, etc. Make sure you have a skilled North Carolina family law attorney on your side; you want someone experienced and capable of handling things amicably. At that age there’s no reason to try to end up inside a courtroom, the process is too expensive and could mean that a stranger decides what happens to your belongings.

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Diploma and Cap.jpgThough college has always been expensive, the amount of money needed nowadays is bordering on ridiculous. According to U.S. News and World report, the average tuition for a private university now exceeds $35,000 per year while kids in public schools can expect to pay almost $20,000. With costs so high it is no wonder that parents have difficulty affording putting their children through school. Unfortunately, the children of divorced parents are often the hardest hit, making a bad situation even worse.

One case that recently made the news highlighted the extent of the problem. Dana Soderberg, a young woman in Connecticut, filed suit against her father for his failure to pay her college tuition. Her parents were divorce back in 2004 while she was attending college. Her father signed a contract with Soderberg saying he would agree to finance her education until she was 25 so long as she diligently attended class. During her senior year her father stopped paying and his daughter slapped him with a lawsuit. The judge sided with the daughter, awarding her $47,000 plus attorney’s fees.

Thankfully it’s very rare for a legal dispute to rise to such a level. Typically, when a parent falls behind thing are worked out long before a lawsuit becomes necessary. However, the suit does point out a larger problem that disproportionately affects the children of divorced parents.

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Broken Heart.jpgWomen that have suffered through an abusive relationship face many of the same hurdles than any women do when going through a divorce. The only difference is that each step of the long divorce process is made more difficult by the looming presence of an abusive spouse.

It’s often the case that women in abusive relationships have no access to money, no financial documents, no clue of how much money exists in the accounts or how many accounts there are to begin with. They may not have a credit card or checking account in their own name and may be used to detailing how every penny has been spent. Such controlling relationships present ample opportunities for the husband to squirrel away assets because, after all, questioning isn’t permitted.

If you feel trapped in an abusive relationship, there are steps you can take to begin to secure your finances and prepare for an exit. If it can be done safely, you should consider the following suggestions:

• Get a post office box so you can get your mail safely and securely.

• Open a bank account in your own name and start putting away money. Make sure your paycheck is direct deposited into your account rather than the joint checking.

• Keep copies of your important paperwork, including bank statements, marriage certificates, social security numbers, etc. It’s probably a good idea to have a safe place outside of the home to store such documents.

• Obtain a credit card so you have access to money if you find yourself cut off from your husband.

• Open a new, private email account that you can use to securely communicate with an attorney and other divorce professionals. You can even use a public library to access the account if you’re worried that your home computer is not safe or has malware or key logging software installed.

• Change your PIN’s to a number that your husband won’t easily guess.

• If at all possible, avoid signing any documents handed to you by your husband.

• Finally, and most important, make arrangements with family or friends for you and your children to move out of the house at a safe time.

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money rolled up.jpgHere’s something that should not come as news to anyone going through the process: divorce can be expensive. When a couple decides to end their marriage, it is almost always for personal reasons but these emotional issues can quickly change into fights over money. The result can be financial destruction for both parties. Everybody loses, except the attorneys. The bit of good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. Divorce doesn’t have to destroy both parties financially; the decision rests in your hands.

If you want your divorce to stay calm (and less costly) you have to keep some of the emotion out. Years of bitterness have built up but you can’t let that distract you from the goal of reasonably dividing assets. Deal with your emotions in therapy, not in a battle of lawyers. Your divorce should be about dividing property, not righting wrongs.

Many couples fall into one of a few traps that lead to the endless cycle of fighting and pumped up divorce fees. Watch for the following issues and you can help avoid financial disaster.

• Anger – Couples that carry around bitterness or jealousy and approach divorce like a war can result in sky-high legal bills. If the couple is out to destroy one another then the result is often mutual destruction.

• Ignorance – Not understanding the process, the couple can make expensive mistakes that take time and money to undo.

• Speed – Couples that are in a dead rush can create more problems than they think they’re solving. When one party is so eager to finish the marriage they can make rash and ill-advised decisions which lead to terrible consequences down the road.

• Delegation – While you certainly need to rely on the advice of your attorney, don’t turn the whole process over and let them run the show. If you are hands off then your lawyers can get into a paper war which succeeds only in raising their fees and draining you of money.

Now that you know what leads to the problems, here are some strategies that can be employed to keep costs from ballooning out of control:

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Movie Board.jpgMany celebrity marriages are over in the blink of an eye. What can average Joes like us learn from the divorce mistakes of the rich and famous? Plenty. Though we might not have their money or fame, we can still learn lessons from their trials and tribulations:

• Get a prenup
When Mel Gibson divorced he was reported to have divided his $900 million fortune in half. Madonna’s ex, Guy Ritchie, is said to have walked away with an additional $90 million for his time with the singer. Kelsey Grammer, of Frasier fame, had to shell out $50 million to a former Playboy Playmate. Why did they all pay so much? Not because of their generosity, that’s for sure. All these unlucky souls lacked prenuptial agreements. Even if you don’t have their money (or close to it) a prenup can help secure the assets you do have and avoid an arbitrary division by a judge later on.

• Don’t trash your ex in public
Kim Kardashian and the rest of her family have wasted no time trash talking her ex, Kris Humphries since their 72-day marriage ended months ago. All the talking causes the process to drag on longer than necessary and leads to emotions running high along the way. Rather than hurting feelings more than has already happened keep quiet and tell your friends and family to do the same, at least until the papers are signed.

• Follow your child custody agreement
Follow whatever agreements you reached in court. When Alex Baldwin and Kim Basinger split Basinger tried to keep their daughter away from him. This move resulted in a very prolonged and nasty dispute between the two and led to hurt feelings all around. If you don’t hold up your end of the bargain your ex can drag you right back to court, costing you time and money, as well as damaging your relationship with your child, along the way.

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