Divorce

Divorce Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, North Carolina :: Five Things You Should Know Before Divorcing

Published on: December 25, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a recent article on Yahoo!, divorce experts and ordinary people who’ve gone through a messy breakup shared some tips on what they wish they had known before starting the sometimes-grueling process. The article contained 10 tips, the first five of which are summarized below. The rest will appear in a future post, so stay tuned.

First things first, understand that it’s going to take a while to heal and that’s perfectly fine. Don’t rush the grieving process; after all, everyone has to bounce back at their own pace. Having a close network of friends and family around can help ease the process, but a good therapist who can help you work through feelings of anger or fear might also be worth considering. One word of warning, make sure to work with a therapist that has dealt with divorce before, either personally or with other clients. After all, you don’t want to work through your issues with a novice.

Second, become an expert on your financial information. Many people may not realize how much of a divorce ultimately revolves around money. Get familiar with your bank accounts, your income, expenses, debts and assets. These numbers will prove critical in the coming weeks and months and you want to make sure you’re armed with all the facts before any decisions are made.

Third, start planning for the future, now. If you’re considering divorce then you need to also be prepared for the financial reality of dividing the same income between two houses. Figure out how much it will cost you to live, either in the house or in a new place if that’s what you want. While it’s sure to be an emotional time, financial realities cannot be ignored and bills will need to be paid. Splitting before you’re financially ready can cause headaches down the road and a bit of planning can usually solve the problem.

Fourth, count on unexpected costs. Even if you’ve planned things carefully there’s bound to be something you forgot or something entirely new that just popped up. Though you may be counting on a check from your ex right away, either child support or alimony, this doesn’t always work like it should. Sometimes an angry ex can delay payment to purposely cause financial hardship. Try to stockpile some money so can wait out a few weeks if need be.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: NASCAR CEO Fails to Keep Divorce Records Sealed

Published on: December 18, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

According to a report by the Charlotte Observer, the North Carolina Court of Appeals decided to uphold a lower judge’s decision to unseal the divorce records from the Chairman and CEO of NASCAR. The case was an especially interesting one and the details have now begun to emerge.

Lawyers for the NASCAR CEO Brian France spent years arguing that the documents should be kept confidential. The papers concern the 2008 divorce between Brian and his then wife, Megan France. The two have a colorful history given that they have been married and divorced twice now.

The Court ruled last year that the public’s right to view public court proceedings outweighed France’s interest in keeping the records private. Then Mecklenburg County District Court Judge Jena Culler reversed an earlier decision by another judge, deciding to unseal the records. Brian France appealed yet again, which meant the decision would be stayed until the Court of Appeals had an opportunity to hear the case again.

France’s attorneys argued before the Court of Appeals that allowing Judge Culler to overturn the order of another judge with an equal rank would result in “judicial anarchy.” The panel with the Court of Appeals was unmoved. Instead, they held that Judge Culler’s decision to unseal the divorce was valid. Given that the three-judge panel was unanimous there is no automatic right to appeal to the North Carolina Supreme Court.

Though records have not yet been released, statements made in court by attorneys on both sides reveal that there are plenty of juicy details in the paperwork. The two are involved in a dispute over whether Megan violated a confidentiality agreement signed during their most recent divorce.

Child Custody Lawyers and Attorneys in Charlotte, NC :: How to Handle Christmas During a Divorce

Published on: December 13, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Everyone knows how special Christmas is and all the memories and family and tradition associated with the holiday are exactly what make it so hard for those going through a divorce. Though it may seem difficult to believe, Christmas as a divorced parent can be just as special as it was before, assuming you follow some good advice as discussed on About.com.

Though most parents will find the season very emotional, especially early on, it’s important to remember that your children come first and you should try to not let your own feelings impact how your children experience the holidays. For instance, though missing out on spending time with your children over the holidays may be hard, it’s important that the kids not feel guilty for spending time with their other parent. While you can understandably be upset, keep the feelings to yourself.

It is also important after a divorce to begin new traditions. While some things can stay the same, others simply cannot. Rather than worry about all the things that will be different, embrace the changes that divorce has brought and take the opportunity to start doing something new and fun. Any past seasonal behaviors that were once wonderful but now dredge up negative emotions can be done away with and replaced by new and exciting activities.

It’s also critical to reach out to friends and family for support during the Christmas season. It’s true what they say, the more the merrier. The more people around to lighten your mood the better off you’ll be. Other people can be a great distraction and help keep you out of a bad emotional place.

Another good idea to take your mind off your own problems is to do something nice for others. Go volunteer at a soup kitchen or deliver meals to senior citizens. Do something for someone else less fortunate and it will help remind you of all the good things you still having going for you. It also can help teach your children a valuable lesson about giving back to others, which is what the season is really about.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: North Carolina Court of Appeals Wrestles With Common-Law Marriage

Published on: December 11, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

A North Carolina Appeals Court says that couples that want to be treated as spouses in a North Carolina divorce proceeding must establish their common-law marriages in other states first before moving to North Carolina.

Though marriage is a wonderful spiritual union between two people, the reality is under North Carolina law it’s a legal contract. When a valid marriage takes place, spouses automatically assume certain legal rights, such as the right to the other’s estate. Though these rights apply automatically to married couples, dealings with other couples aren’t so simple.

The North Carolina Court of Appeals ruled early last week that couples must establish common-law marriages in other states before they can be considered as spouses in divorce proceedings. Common-law marriages are not recognized in North Carolina. However, the appeals court said that the state’s courts “will recognize as valid a common-law marriage ‘if the acts alleged to have created it took place in a state where such a marriage is valid.'”
The case in question concerns a woman, Hulya Garrett, who is seeking alimony, division of property and a divorce from her boyfriend of many years, Charles Burris. The two lived together in Texas for eight years, a state that does permit common-law marriage. To qualify as a common-law marriage in Texas, a couple must prove three things: 1) that they agree to be married; 2) that they live together as husband and wife; and 3) that they represent themselves to others as spouses.

Divorce Attorneys and Lawyers in Charlotte, NC :: What to do if you and your ex are in business together?

Published on: December 6, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Though it can be hard for business partners to keep personal issues out of the workplace, the trouble pales in comparison to the issues faced by partners that used to be married to one another. A recent article in the New York Times discussed what happens when a couple who runs a business gets divorced but wants to continue working together.

Given a 2007 Census Bureau estimate that showed husbands and wives own about 3.7 million businesses and the high rate of divorce, this situation is likely more common than many people realize. The following bits of advice are meant to help make the best of what almost anyone would describe as a difficult situation.

First, nothing is more important than respect. In many marriages there is simply too much anger to ever be able to work well together in the future. In others, the parties simply fell out of love but continue to trust and respect one another. Only you know if there are open lines of communication with your spouse and whether you can count on your ex to be consistent and predictable in your business relationship.

Second, seeking professional help can be very valuable. Unlike most other couples that divorce, business owners must still see each other on a regular or even daily basis. That can make it hard to heal and move ahead into new relationships. Seeking professional help can be important to deal with this state of limbo. Allowing personal feelings to interfere in a work conversation can be disastrous and learning tools to avoid that are crucial.

Next, you have to sit down and craft a real partnership agreement. This is something that anyone who partners with a stranger would do right away, but a step almost always skipped when a business is formed with a spouse. Assuming you never created such an agreement, once the divorce is final it’s critical that you work together to craft a plan for what to do and how to split assets if one partner wants out of the business. Having an agreement will add security to what is likely already a tense situation.

Child Custody Lawyers in Charlotte, Mecklenburg County, NC :: Can your spouse prevent you from divorcing in North Carolina?

Published on: October 25, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Thankfully, many divorcing couples are on the same page about wanting to get a divorce. The fights or problems communicating have been obvious to both parties for a while and the decision to divorce was a long time coming. However, there are times when the parties aren’t in such perfect agreement.

Sometimes one spouse wants the divorce and the other spouse does not, other times one spouse is caught by surprise, unaware that there were ever any issues. In these situations, the spouse who does not want the divorce may stall or refuse to do anything to keep the divorce moving toward a resolution. This can be extremely frustrating for the person seeking the divorce because it means more time and money spent on the process.

In all North Carolina divorces, the first step after filing the Complaint for Absolute Divorce is that the respondent must be formally served with a copy of the Complaint. In many amicable divorces, the person who files the Complaint (petitioner) can simply give their spouse (the respondent) a copy as an alternative to being personally served with the divorce papers by a sheriff or private process server.

If the respondent refuses to cooperate, however, he or she will have to be personally served. If the respondent goes out of their way to evade service, the petitioner will likely have to use a private process server, who will request additional information about the respondent’s schedule and whereabouts before tracking them down. This option is more expensive than having the sheriff do the service, but has a better chance of success.

If your spouse desperately does not want the divorce they may refuse to attend mediation sessions or a settlement conference. If that’s the case, the petitioner will have to request a final hearing to obtain a Final Decree of Divorce. As long as the respondent is properly notified of the hearing date, the court can grant the divorce, even if the respondent chooses not to attend.

Divorce Lawyers Concord, Cabarrus County, North Carolina :: How to Negotiate During a North Carolina Divorce

Published on: October 23, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Without a doubt, one of the most difficult things to do during a divorce is to negotiate the terms and conditions that will govern your life: custody, marital property settlement, alimony, child support, visitation, etc.

Negotiations are something many couples likely have no experience with and it’s important to know that there is no right way to handle the process. Each negotiation depends on the peculiar quirks of the couple involved. They can take place face to face or through lawyers or mediators. They can be difficult and emotion or calm and rational.

One bit of advice that many experienced Concord North Carolina family law attorneys know is that negotiations move along much more smoothly when both spouses are at the same place emotionally. That means, when both the husband and wife each accept that the marriage is over and that moving on is the best option for everyone.

In cases where one party has been blindsided by the divorce, lots of anger can result. The surprised party can try to stall, unnecessarily dragging their feet in an attempt to get the other spouse to reconsider. Negotiating with such a spouse is usually pointless as unreasonable demands are often made and a fair settlement gets nowhere. It’s for this reason that many couples find it a good idea to wait for some period of time so that everyone has a chance to cool down and come to grips with reality before beginning a serious negotiation.

Divorce Lawyers Monroe, Union County, North Carolina :: The Importance of Discovery in a North Carolina Divorce

Published on: October 18, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Many couples facing a divorce wonder why the time and expense associated with discovery is necessary. They figure that they know what the other spouse’s assets are; after all, you watched them buy the stuff in the first place. They think they understand the value of all the retirement and bank accounts because they’ve had conversations about them. Many people believe their spouse would not or could not hide any important information so why go through the trouble at all? The problem is, what you don’t know can hurt you in this instance, which is why the discovery process is so important.

Discovery is the legal process meant to extract information from the opposing party in a lawsuit. Gathering facts early on in litigation may actually help minimize costs in the long run by narrowing the issues that need to be addressed at trial or in settlement negotiations. Discovery involves numerous approaches, including: Interrogatories, Requests for Production of Documents, depositions (both written and oral), physical and mental examinations, Requests for Admission, and others. The most important and most commonly used discovery methods are Interrogatories, Requests for Production of Documents, and Requests for Admissions.

Interrogatories are questions posed to the opposing party. In North Carolina, a party may send up to 50 Interrogatories to the opposing party. The opposing party is required to answer the Interrogatories under oath which is meant to increase the likelihood that the information provided will be truthful. If the party who receives the interrogatories refuses to answer, the court is able to impose sanctions.

Requests for Production of Documents (RPDs) are exactly what they sound like. An attorney makes formal requests for documents in the other party’s possession. If the party refuses to release requested documents that can also lead to sanctions by the court. Unlike interrogatories, there is no limit to the number of requests that can be made.

Admissions are statements presented to the other party. The opposing party is asked to admit or deny the truth of certain matters. Admissions are very powerful and help attorneys narrow down the number of issues that are really in contention between the parties. Another important bit of information about Admissions are that if the other party does not answer a request in a timely manner, the request can be deemed admitted.

Divorce Lawyers Statesville, North Carolina :: The Trouble With Dual Citizenship in North Carolina Divorce

Published on: October 16, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

What could be worse than divorce? Perhaps the prospect of dueling divorces spread across the globe. Red tape, bureaucracy, money, cultural differences, travel are just some of the many problems faced by Americans facing a divorce in a second country.

While this may seem like a problem that affects only a small group, the fact is many may one day encounter such a predicament. If you’re a dual citizen, you or your spouse has been living abroad, you married a citizen of another country or your spouse fled the country with the kids, you too might have to go through the legal system of another country to obtain a divorce.

Given the increasing interconnectedness of the world, this is a problem that is affecting more and more people. Parental kidnappings make the headlines regularly and more and more parents are willing to fight to get the kids back in the U.S.

If you are facing a possible foreign divorce the first question to content with is where will it be easiest for you to get a divorce? Just because you or your spouse is American, that does not meant that you can file in the U.S., especially if you live abroad. The issue is not where you were born, but where you are currently living that determines which court has jurisdiction.

Though exceptions abound, a good rule of thumb is that divorce is easier to manage in the U.S. and Europe as laws tend to value fairness and equality between the parties. Laws in the Middle East and parts of Africa can be especially hard on women, making it almost impossible for mother’s to gain custody of the kids. Even this conversation about where you will divorce relies on the assumption that you and your spouse agree about where to file. If you don’t, the process becomes a race as whoever files first determines where the divorce will take place.

Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina :: What NOT to do During Your Divorce

Published on: October 9, 2012 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

As discussed in a recent article on PsychologyToday.com, there are several things you should NOT do during your divorce. As many people know, divorcing can be a stressful and exhausting experience. However, there are actions that can and should be taken to make the process easier and there are also things that can be avoided to ensure you don’t make a bad situation even worse.

The following are some of the things (though there are many, many more) that you should avoid doing in the interest of having a more peaceful divorce.

1) Don’t Lie To The Judge: Though this seems to go without saying, always tell the truth. Whether you’re testifying in court or in a deposition, credibility is key. If people start to doubt you then things go end up very badly. Make sure to confide in your attorney if there is a certain subject you want to avoid discussing, but outright lying is never a good plan.

2) Don’t Lie to Your Attorney: Your lawyer can’t help you if they don’t know all the facts. You should be honest with your attorney so they can accurately analyze your case for strengths and weaknesses. All the facts are important and your attorney needs to know everything to help you get the best possible outcome.

3) Don’t Take Legal Advice From Friends and/or Family: It’s important to remember that just because someone gives you advice, it doesn’t mean they are correct. The law varies wildly based on specific circumstances of your case so a friend or family that went through a divorce may have had an entirely different experience than you. Listen to your attorney and ask questions as they arise. It’s wise to avoid talking about specifics of your case with friends and family.

4) Don’t Hide Property: Hiding property to avoid equitable division in a divorce is quite simply a terrible idea. If you do so and it’s discovered then you will lose all credibility in front of the judge and the other side, likely making your situation much, much worse.