Divorce

The Seven Reasons To Get Out Of A Bad Relationship #3: Because Your Spouse Won’t Change :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: May 7, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

In our continuing series of articles based on the piece by Ronnie Tyler about seven important reasons to end a bad relationship, we have now reached the third bit of advice. The first reason Tyler gives to consider getting out of a bad marriage is because you deserve better. The second is that your children deserve better. Now for number three: because your spouse won’t change (at least not in the time that you want them to).

This third reason can be a very difficult one for some people to come to grips with. This is especially the case for Type A individuals who are used to exerting control over their lives and those around them. You might think that if you just nag your spouse long enough or insist that some behaviors change then they will finally cave and decide to shape up.

Sadly, that is seldom the case. By the time most people reach marrying age, they have begun to find out who they are and, more importantly, who they are not. Personality habits begin to become deeply ingrained and it can be difficult if not impossible to make wholesale changes in behavior. Though small shifts are always possible, the fact is overnight miracles are seldom ever seen.

The Seven Reasons To Get Out Of A Bad Relationship #2: Because Your Children Deserve Better :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: May 2, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

This blog continues our series of posts discussing a recent Yahoo article about reasons to get out of bad marriage.

In the first article, we mentioned the first reason given by Ronnie Tyler, the author of the piece. We discussed how a desire for happiness and a recognition that you deserve better might be a reason to either divorce or make serious changes to a relationship.

This week, the second reason given by Tyler to get out of a bad relationship is because your children deserve better. Though you deserving a happy and fulfilled marriage should be enough of a reason to make a change, many people find it easy to put their own needs last. However, those with children understand how important the parental desire to protect your offspring truly is.

Tyler says that though some people may not have the strength to get out of a bad relationship for themselves, the hope is that they would be able to make the change for their children. Tyler says that parents should consider how the bad relationship might negatively affect the kids. For instance, the fighting and name-calling can send bad messages to impressionable children about what qualifies as a “healthy” relationship. In cases where more serious problems exist, such as infidelity or abuse, getting out becomes essential to shielding your children from a potentially destructive parent.

The Seven Reasons To Get Out Of A Bad Relationship :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: April 30, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

Yahoo recently featured an article discussing a list of seven reasons why couple should go ahead and get out of a bad marriage now. The article is thought provoking and raises a lot of important questions that couples in the midst of a bad relationship should grapple with when deciding what to do about their marriage.

Though some commenters were irritated that the article was flippant or possibly insensitive, that was not the intention. Instead, the author, Ronnie Tyler, said that the piece was designed to challenge unhappy couples, highlighting serious issues that people should consider when deciding what to do about their relationship. The author of the piece said that the idea for the article came out a concern that her friends and family not stay in miserable relationships out of fear of trying something new. Everyone deserves to not only survive, but thrive, and being saddled with an unhappy relationship is one way to endure long-term suffering.

The author also explained that when she lists the seven reasons to get out of a bad relationship, that she does not necessarily mean divorce. Though for some divorce might be the best option, for others “getting out” is just an instruction to make serious life changes that alter the trajectory of your relationship. This could be the kind of shake up that you have been considering for years, but never had the courage to insist on.

Bitter Divorce Separates A Man And His Bird :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: April 23, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

A hostile divorce in Montana resulted in a man losing touch with his beloved bird, a macaw, for more than five years. Thankfully, the two were reunited recently thanks to a friend with a good eye.

The ordeal began when the man, Mike Taylor, and his wife went through an especially nasty divorce several years ago. In the divorce, Taylor’s wife won control over their pet bird, Love Love. After the settlement was done, his wife decided to sell the bird, devastating Taylor who had always been fond of his 25-year-old pet.

A friend of Taylor’s was recently visiting a bird sanctuary in the state when he thought one of the birds seemed oddly familiar. The friend had to cajole Taylor to come see for himself, but once he did he knew it was his Love Love. Taylor then had to try and convince the owner of the sanctuary to let him get his bird back, but after revealing several oddly specific facts about the bird, including his blindness in one eye, the owner decided Taylor was telling the truth.

The sanctuary initially took possession of Love Love after another woman sought to give the bird away after the bird bit her so hard that she required medical attention. Love Love has not been aggressive with Taylor and seems to have settled back into his old routines.

Divorce Or Separation? Part Two :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: April 18, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

This post is a continuation of our last article walking through some important questions that couples should ask themselves before settling on divorce. The following are some more tough issues to consider while weighing the decision of seeking a separation or choosing to divorce.

The next issue raised in the Yahoo article is to ask yourself how a separation might affect your children. While you might like to have a trial period to think over the marriage, it’s important to consider how your children will view the news. Some kids might be given false hope about their parents reconciling while others might get the wrong message about what kinds of behavior is acceptable in a relationship.

Experts also recommend considering whether you or your spouse will require health insurance. Though the issue may seem boring and practical, practicality has its place in such matters. If one party has extensive pre-existing medical conditions or lacks insurance of their own, a trial separation might be the best way to ease into a new life apart, giving each party time to make arrangements. A full divorce would pull the rug out from under the sick party and a separation might be the best way to handle the transition.

Another practical matter that should be considered is whether one party is accumulating significant assets. If you are the spouse making a lot of money or are owed a big bonus in the not so distant future, you might be inclined to push for divorce to create a cut-off point and separate your finances. If, on the other hand, your spouse is due for a big raise or bonus, it likely makes financial sense to consider a separation and ensure you are entitled to a share of those assets.

Divorce Or Separation? Part One :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: April 16, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

If you are unhappy in your marriage and are contemplating calling it quits, chances are things have been bad for a while. No one wants to rush into something as serious and final as divorce. Ending a marriage is one of the most difficult decisions most people will ever face, which is why it is crucial to feel confident that you have made the right choice.

For some people divorce is clearly the best option. If the fighting has gotten out of hand with no hope of easing tensions and the stress has started to negatively impact your children, divorce is likely the right move. In other cases, the distance that a separation brings might be all that you need to get your marriage back on a sound footing. Yahoo put together a list of some of the following questions to ask before making the decision to divorce.

First, are you both ready to leave or is the unhappiness with only one party? This question is important because in cases where only one spouse is unhappy, a separation can often be a good idea. For one thing, a separation allows the unhappy spouse to have some space and really think through their decision. For another, it gives the other party time to come to grips with the idea of divorcing. If both parties want out, and are sure of it, then that might be a reason to consider divorcing since you are both already on the same page.

Kim Kardashian Scores Victory Over Husband In Divorce Battle :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: April 11, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

The ongoing battle between Kim Kardashian and her husband of only 72 days, Kris Humphries, just took another important twist as the pregnant Ms. Kardashian scored an important victory in her case against Humphries.

The issue revolved around Humphries’ demand for access to emails from Ms. Kardashian. The judge presiding over the case denied Humphries’ request for access to emails sent from some closed email accounts. Humphries wanted access to the messages to comb for possible statements that might prove the marriage was a fraud from the beginning designed to get ratings.

The latest issue followed Humphries decision to ignore a mandatory settlement conference ordered by the judge that was meant to take place last Friday. Both Humphries and Kim were told to personally attend, but when the day of the conference arrived Humprhies was nowhere to be found. His decision to ignore the court order prompted harsh remarks from the judge.

The judge spoke from the bench about how Humphries had made a mockery of the entire court system by not appearing at the required settlement conference. The judge chastised the 28-year-old professional basketball player for wasting the court’s valuable time.

North Carolina Legislature Moves To Impose Two-Year Waiting Period For Divorce :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: April 4, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “How long does getting a divorce take?”

Late last month, legislators in North Carolina took an unusual step to impose a two-year waiting period on divorce. The decision caused a stir not only in North Carolina, but across the country with articles laughably discussing the legislature’s move to meddle in marriages. Beyond imposing a two-year waiting period before a divorce can be granted, the bill, Senate Bill 518, would also require that couples who are considering divorce go through marriage counseling before the judge can officially sign off on the dissolution of the marriage.

The act, knowing as The Healthy Marriage Act, has been designed to strengthen the institution of marriage according to its Republican supporters in the state legislature. The measure would replace the current one-year separation that is in place before a couple can officially receive a divorce. The Act says that couples would be permitted to either live together or apart during the waiting period, with cohabitation not preventing the clock from ticking.

The legislation specifically states that before a divorce can take place, one spouse would have to submit a written notice to the other spouse notifying the other party about his or her intention to file for divorce. This would then begin the two-year countdown. During this interim period, the couple would be required to take classes about bettering their communication skills and improving their conflict resolution abilities. The Healthy Marriage Act does not require that the couple attend the classes together; each can take the courses on his or her own. If the couple has children there are even more hurdles that must be jumped through, including a four-hour course that discusses the impact of divorce on children.

Pregnant Man Appeals Judge’s Decision Not To Allow Divorce :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: April 2, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

A lawyer for the transgender Arizona man who gave birth to three of his children after changing sex legally from female to male has been denied a divorce by a judge. Thomas Beatie had his divorce petition denied by the Arizona judge who said that the state laws do not recognize that his marriage ever occurred and thus do not allow him to grant a divorce. The judge said that the marriage is a same sex marriage, despite the currently different legal genders of the couple.

Beatie has announced that he intends to appeal the decision. David Cantor, Beatie’s divorce attorney, has said that he thinks the judge has discriminated against Beatie because of his unconventional lifestyle and allowed Beatie’s three pregnancies to impact his decision to grant a divorce. Cantor says an appeal will be filed shortly before the Arizona Supreme Court.

Beatie married his wife, Nancy, nine years ago in Hawaii. At the time of the marriage, Beatie had legally changed his sex from female to male and had a document proving this. The documents identified him as a male and revealed that he had taken some surgical steps to begin his transition into being a man.

What To Do About Spring Break In A North Carolina Divorce :: Separation and Divorce Lawyers in Charlotte, North Carolina

Published on: March 28, 2013 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Attorney Matthew R. Arnold answering the question: “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

Everyone knows that spring break can be hectic, even for happily married families. Now throw in a divorce, hurt feelings, several children, parenting plans, two different houses and multiple schedules and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. In the best of cases planning for vacation and making sure everyone gets something that they want is tough. The way to ensure that things stay as civil as possible is to plan early and plan often.

The very first thing that divorcing couples can do to make spring break (and all similar vacations) easier, is to begin thinking about them during the divorce itself. Though you will likely have many other things on your mind, make sure that you and your attorney sit down to discuss the issue of vacations before the parenting plan is finalized. Work the language out now, including all the particulars, to avoid trouble later on. Though it can seem tedious to carefully lay out things like whether a vacation begins on a Friday after school lets out or whether it starts the following Monday morning, that level of specificity is essential to avoiding trouble down the road. It is important to remember that there are no right or wrong answers; any arrangement is fine so long as it works for you and your former spouse.