Divorce

“Smart” people capable of DIY divorce, writer says

Published on: December 23, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Can I get the judge to order my spouse to pay my attorney’s fees in a property division case?”

The Huffington Post has identified what it describes as “a narrow group of smart, rational and reasonable individuals” who will join the flood of people all over the country starting the New Year by ending their marital relationships. It is, after all, the busiest time of year for divorce lawyers; however, these “smart, rational and reasonable” individuals will not be joining the flood of phone calls to divorce lawyers’ offices.

Diane L. Danois, J.D., says smart people don’t need divorce lawyers. First, she argues, much of family law is form-based, and most of the forms are available online at no cost. Even samples of Separation Agreements, Property Agreements and Custody Agreements can be found online and tailored—by “smart, rational and reasonable” individuals—to fit an individual couple’s needs.

As for property division, Danois says, financial affidavits guide couples through the steps of disclosing and labeling assets and liabilities. Smart people can figure out what martial property is, presumably. The assumption Ms. Danois appears to make, however, is that parties to marital relationships all have sharing, cooperative attitudes. Many people end up in my office, however, because of their spouses’ uncooperative and—at times—abusive and controlling attitudes. They need advocates to stand up for them because they feel intimidated by a spouse and by the legal system.

Of course, uncooperative, controlling, manipulative spouses would likely not fit under Ms. Danois’ definition of “smart, rational and reasonable” individuals, so perhaps the couples in need of divorce lawyers—by asserting the opposite of the premise—are those which feature at least one spouse who is uncooperative, or not “smart.”

Billionaire’s ex-wife still pushing 25-year-old divorce battle over assets

Published on: November 27, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Can I get the judge to order my spouse to pay my attorney’s fees in a property division case?”

Twenty-five year marriage? Try a twenty-five year divorce.

Wall Street billionaire Steve Cohen is fending off claims from his Manhattan book editor ex-wife, Patricia, who sued the former SAC Capital Advisors, LP honcho in 2009, alleging he misled her about a supposedly failing real estate deal and cheated her out of $2.75 million.

The Cohens married in 1979, but the stress of Mr. Cohen’s Wall Street job put the marriage on the rocks. The couple divorced in 1990, when—according to Bloomberg News—Mr. Cohen was “barely worth eight figures.”

He is worth much more now. Since Mrs. Cohen filed her suit in 2009, Mr. Cohen’s net worth has doubled to an estimated $11.1 billion.

Aside from his ex-wife, Mr. Cohen and his company—now called Point72 Asset Management LP—have spent six years fending off insider-trading charges and corruption investigations. In 2013, Manhattan United States Attorney Preet Bharara called Cohen’s company a “magnet for market cheaters.”

Divorce coach offers tips to the recently divorced on jumping back into single life

Published on: November 25, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How long does getting a divorce take?”

Going through divorce, a Seattle-based divorce coach says, is like having a bomb go off in your life. After divorce, you have to pick up the pieces, but you don’t have to do it alone.

Betsey Gutting used to assist parties through the often rancorous ups and downs of divorce proceedings. As an attorney, it was her job to advocate one party’s side. She realized, however, that almost everyone involved in divorce could use support. She learned this firsthand when her 22-year marriage ended.

So Gutting turned her energy to helping others, establishing and leading divorce support groups, which meet in the homes of divorce recovery coaches, in church basements or wherever support groups can find a safe, supportive atmosphere.

Gutting describes the recovery coach’s role as helping divorce survivors reenter the world, so to speak, as a newly-single people, establishing independent financial security, making new friends, and when the time is right beginning to date again. She recently published a book offering tips to the recently divorced titled The Magic of Saying Yes: Answering Your Heart’s True Calling.

Elvis gave sage advice when he cautioned that only fools rush in, and Gutting offers a similar directive, telling the recently divorced to listen to themselves and to establish safe boundaries. The last thing a recovering divorcee needs is discouragement on top of bereavement.

Couples skip divorce, try “conscious uncoupling” instead

Published on: November 13, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m not getting along with my husband. We’ve been married two weeks and it was a mistake. Can’t I just get an annulment?”

Battles between advocates for same-sex marriage and defenders of traditional marriage have been dominating headlines for years. As other-than-traditional forms of marriage gain acceptance and recognition, less-than-traditional modes of splitting up are gaining traction as well.

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow and rock ‘n’ roll singer Chris Martin popularized the term “conscious uncoupling” when the pair split up earlier this year. While the pair appear to remain married by legal standards, they are living apart and dating other people, though they continue to cooperate on raising their children and, presumably, on matters related to property they share.

That is about how Clark and Valerie Tate are approaching their conscious uncoupling. They have not divorced, and they still live together in the same house, albeit in separate bedrooms. They maintain joint assets—or marital property—but they are each allowed to date other people.

When the sparks of intimacy began to fade in their marriage, the Tates knew they did not want to upset the structure of their family unit, which then as now revolved around their son. Clark Tate, who had been married twice before marrying Valerie, said he was familiar with the divorce process and did not want to go down that road again.

So, Valerie said, the couple began talking about the idea of dating other people. Clark said he was shocked by the idea initially, but over time he grew interested in the prospect of an amicable split.

Divorce author offers tips on dealing with divorce lawyers

Published on: November 11, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question ” I’m considering separating from my spouse; what actions should I refrain from doing?”

Best-selling author Honoree Corder had what she described as “the great pleasure” of interviewing a slew of divorce attorneys for her new book, If Divorce is a Game, These are the Rules. On Friday, she posted an article on the Huffington Post titled “3 Things Your Divorce Lawyer Isn’t Telling You.”

If you, the client, will just focus on these three things, Ms. Corder writes, you and everyone involved in your divorce “will have a more positive and effortless divorce experience.” Failing to undertake these actions will, according to Ms. Corder, make life—and your divorce—tough.

Ms. Corder encourages people contemplating or going through a divorce to prioritize paying their divorce attorney the same way they prioritize paying other bills in their lives. Attorneys with whom Ms. Corder spoke said they feel like some clients—often high-maintenance clients who question and challenge nearly everything—fail to pay their legal bills in a timely manner because they compartmentalize their lives.

On the one hand, people live their “real lives” where they have to keep up with real-life bills or else suffer consequences such as having their power or water cut off or being removed from their homes. On the other hand, people live their “divorce life,” a life in which they act irrationally, “demand unreasonable outcomes,” fail to pay their bills and yet expect their attorneys to keep moving their case along.

As Ms. Corder puts it, nice clients who pay their bills have a much easier time in the divorce process.

“War on women” hits close to home for one congressman’s estranged wife

Published on: October 21, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “How can an attorney help me with my Divorce or Separation in North Carolina?”

Congressman Alan Grayson’s war on one woman has taken an ugly turn, with Grayson’s attorney slamming his estranged wife as being a “poor housekeeper” for allowing the condition of the Florida Democrat’s 5,300 square-foot home to become “horrible.”

Grayson, the United States Representative for Florida’s 9^th District, has “called out” Republican political opponents for waging a war “against all of the women in this country.” According to Grayson, the gullible, Confederate flag-waving bigots in the Grand Old Party oppose so-called “equal pay” laws and abortion, and that means they are in a war against women.

That imagined war has become all-too-real for Lolita Grayson, Rep. Grayson’s estranged wife. She claims that Rep. Grayson has failed to pay for repairs and upkeep on the Orlando home she shares with the couple’s four children. Mrs. Grayson alleges in court filings that the home’s roof is leaking, and broken windows are allowing rainwater to penetrate the interior of the home, which has led to a significant mold problem.

Rep. Grayson’s attorney calls the accusations false, saying the congressman spends more than $10,000 per month on the home’s mortgage, child support, utilities and household expenses.

Divorce uncovers apparent sex abuse of minors by prominent actor

Published on: October 9, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Charlotte Divorce Attorney Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “When do you get alimony?”

Divorces do not get much uglier than the one involving actor Stephen Collins and his estranged wife, Faye Grant.

Collins and Grant commenced divorce proceedings in 2012. At the time, the former 7^th Heaven star said he and Grant were moving forward separately with their lives. Collins played a pastor in 7^th Heaven, a popular television series that aired from 1996 until 2007.

In 2012, Collins—who said he regarded Grant as his “dearest friend”—said he knew the couple would proceed through the divorce process “in a way that honors our family.”

Two years on, he may be second-guessing himself.

Grant may not have been as willing as Collins presumed to move on separately with her life—at least not without millions from a divorce settlement with Collins. Grant said she is seeking spousal support and a share of two Brentwood, California properties owned by the couple, valued at $2.7 million apiece. She has also demanded a share of the roughly $44,000 Collins earns in monthly income, as well as the $6 to $7 million the pair have in bank and retirement accounts.

Ex-sheriff seeks to criminalize the practice of trolling for divorce clients

Published on: October 2, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Matthew R. Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “Can any attorney help me with my family law needs in North Carolina?”

If you or someone you know has been injured in an accident… If you live in the United States, you have heard that phrase a few trillion times. But really, if you have been injured in an accident, you are likely to receive a mailer from a lawyer—or two, or five hundred.

What about if you seek a domestic violence protective order and file for divorce? If you are in Michigan, you might receive a mailer from a family-law attorney who is eager to help you. Or not, if a former-sheriff state legislator has his way.

The legislator, Sen. Rick Jones of Grand Ledge, Michigan, is sponsoring a bill that would prohibit lawyers in that state from reaching out to potential divorce clients to offer their legal services until two weeks after the named defendant in a divorce filing has been served with divorce papers and proof of that service has been filed.

Of course, the ex-sheriff put some teeth in his bill. A first-time violation of the rule would be a misdemeanor and subject the violator to a $1,000 fine. Repeat offenders would face up to a year in prison and a $5,000 fine, or both.

Studies show U.S. marriage rate declining, especially for younger Americans

Published on: September 25, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What does uncontested divorce mean?”

A record one-in-five adults aged 25 or older had never been married as of 2012, according to a Pew Research Center analysis of census data. That’s double the amount of never-married adults from 1960. What happened?

Pew blames “a variety of reasons,” but places its emphasis on the economy, which it says has grown slowly and unequally in recent decades. Median hourly wages for men ages 25 to 34 have declined 20-percent since 1980 “in real terms.” Real terms means that even though the amount of money men in that age group earn may have increased, the cost of everything else—of living—means that more money actually buys them less.

Economic woes have shrunk the “pool of available employed men,” and those are the ones that 80-percent of never-married women say they want. These women want a man who has a steady job. But women are the ones whose educational achievement and labor-force participation rate continue to rise.

That has created a deficit in the number of employed, available men per 100 women. In 1960, the number of employed, available men per 100 women in the 25 to 34 age group was 139. By 2012, that number had sunk to 91. Of course, never-married women can select their mates from other pools of available men such as older men or divorcees.

Effects of divorce, separation more profound for young children of wealthy parents

Published on: September 11, 2014 | On behalf of Arnold & Smith, PLLC

Board Certified Family Law Specialist Matt Arnold of Arnold & Smith, PLLC answers the question “What are my custody rights if the other parent moves?”

Researchers from Washington, D.C.’s Georgetown University who used a national sample of nearly 4,000 children from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth have concluded that young children from wealthy families exhibit more behavioral problems following their parents’ divorce than children from poor families.

Rebecca Ryan, an assistant professor of psychology at Georgetown, told Time Magazine that her team’s findings show that “family changes affect children’s behavior in higher-income families more than children’s behavior in lower-income families—for better and for worse.” Ryan was the study’s lead author. She conceded that she nor her researchers could pinpoint any reasons behind the spike in behavior problems among young children from wealthier families.

Ryan did speculate that fathers in wealthier families—most often breadwinners—often leave the home, leading to a steep decline in household income. In general, wealthier families see a greater shift in financial circumstances when parents divorce or separate than lower-income families. The changes that accompany that shift such as moving to a new neighborhood or changing schools may lead to instability in children’s lives.