Separation and divorce can be a time of turmoil and uncertainty, especially for children. It is estimated that about half of all children come from divorced families. As a parent, you want to protect your children from the harm that could be related to dysfunctional or even harmful families. Sometimes, separation and divorce are the best ways to improve life for everyone.
Parents can help their children navigate the new family dynamic with some thoughtful planning.
Plan Ahead
North Carolina requires married couples to live apart for a period of at least one year before they may seek a no-fault divorce. It is helpful to plan ahead to decide where parents and children will reside. Create a plan that allows children to spend time with each parent. Children thrive on structure, so if you can devise a parenting plan that works, it will help kids adjust more easily to change.
Be Direct
It is usually best to be direct, especially with older children. Kids can be perceptive and they often already know that there is a separation in the works. Allow children to ask questions and provide answers that are age-appropriate. For younger kids, you do not need to go into too much of an explanation. Most importantly, they need to know how the separation will impact their lives.
Present a United Front
Although you may not see eye to eye on many issues, it is important for parents to work together to present a united front for your children. This helps to give your children stability and comfort, even though there are some changes coming. Children will know that their parents are both in sync about the situation and will be better able to cope.
Avoid Blame
It can be difficult to handle your emotions during this traumatic period. However, you should try your best to avoid placing blame for the breakup on your partner. Keep in mind that your children love both parents and you will do best to ensure that kids do not feel they need to choose sides in the separation. Do what you can to foster a good family relationship and keep arguments with your spouse private.
Focus On Your Children’s Best Interests
You will help your children the most by providing them with a stable and loving home environment throughout the separation and through the divorce. It is your primary job as a parent to make sure that you always act in the best interests of your kids. Establish new family routines that will make daily living easier and less stressful for everyone. Make sure that the decisions you make are for your children and are not based on your anger or other emotions associated with the end of your marriage.
Check in with your children often to understand their concerns and keep them feeling safe and secure. In some cases, children may need some additional support from a family therapist or counselor. Divorce can be challenging, but it is easier with guidance from a compassionate attorney. Call us today at Arnold & Smith, PLLC, at (704) 370-2828 to set up a consultation.
The family law practice group at Arnold & Smith, PLLC includes four Board-Certified Family Law specialists and one Child Welfare Law specialist, as well as several attorneys with many years of family law experience that are committed to providing a powerful voice to individuals facing the often-tumultuous issues in this area of law. The range of issues our family law clients may be facing include pre- and post-nuptial agreements; separation agreements; post-separation support; child support (both temporary and permanent); absolute divorce; divorce from bed and board; military divorce; equitable distribution of assets; child custody (both temporary and permanent); retirement benefits and divorce; alimony and spousal support; adoption; and emancipation. Because this area of the law is usually emotionally charged and complicated, the family law attorneys at Arnold & Smith, PLLC act with the utmost dedication to ensure that each client understands his or her options, and then act to achieve the best result possible for that client’s particular situation.
Source:
https://www.nccourts.gov/help-topics/divorce-and-marriage/separation-and-divorce
Image Credit:
https://www.freeimages.com/photo/mother-with-children-eating-meal-1688681
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